Overcoming Same-Sex Desires

Who are those shaming same-sex relations? While various sexual behaviors are widely accepted, why do many still feel so much guilt? Should not homosexuals feel affirmed and confident? Do the moral standards of other people trigger guilt in the moral conscience of others? Can other people determine the moral conscience of others? No. Why then is there still so much shame? There some of the reasons for guilt and the guilt can be resolved.

Natural Guilt

The perception of what is natural has caused many to feel guilty. Here are some observations: Only one man and one woman have propagated humanity and marriage between a man and a woman is natural to humanity. Only a man and a woman can conceive children. Only man and woman are made to come together. Man and woman are made to become intimately one even if they do not plan to have children. Traditional marriage has been the basis of society forming the family.

Same-sex relations stand in contrast to centuries of marriage, families, parenting, and even adoption. Adoption has been a natural option for a married woman and man who are unable to conceive. All orphaned children are naturally produced by one father and one mother, and they would naturally desire a father and a mother or at least a father and mother figure. Therefore, some can feel guilt for altering the natural order. What can be done about this shame? Are “religious people” to blame? Is God trying to tell humankind something by using our consciences?

Highly Esteemed among People

Many face shame coming from the message of the Christian faith. Jesus declared, “For what is highly esteemed among people is an abomination in the sight of God” (Luke 16:15). Many people still revere the words of Jesus. Jesus’s words can be piercing to the heart. What did Jesus say? Jesus spoke against adulteries, fornications, and lewdness being “evil things” that come from hearts and defile people (Mark 7:20–23). What is the community’s response to Jesus’s definition of marriage to be one man and one woman (Mark 10:6–9)? How are homosexuals to feel about Jesus’s words against sex outside of marriage as being evil (1 Cor 6:16; Eph 5:31; Heb 13:4)?

Jesus revealed, “I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance” (Mark 2:17b). Jesus openly used a strict definition of fornication according to the Moses’s Law that consists of adultery, extra-marital sex (premarital sex), incest, rape (pedophilia), sex during menstruation, homosexuality, bestiality, and prostitution (Lev 18; 19:29; 20; Deut 22:5, 22–30). Jesus also condemned pedophilia in the abuse of children (Matt 18:7–10, Mark 9:42–50). He specified that adultery also consisted of divorcing and marrying another for any reason other than sexually infidelity (Matt 5:32; 19:9; Mark 10:11–12; Luke 16:18; cf. 1 Cor 7:10–11). Were Jesus’s words overboard and without merit?

There is no wonder that many homosexuals are ashamed of Jesus and his morality of sexual behavior. There is no real debate that Jesus taught that homosexual behavior is sexually immoral, sinful, and evil. After all the pleading with the masses, no one can ever change Jesus. No one can persuade Jesus to change or alter how God made humanity man and woman.

Moral Conflict

Many feel a great moral conflict, because they find that they are not able to control themselves like most people (Rom 7:13–25). They do not like the idea of religious hypocrites boasting of their ease and peace with sexuality. However, in the Bible, some who became Christians were homosexuals before they believed in Jesus and repented. Striving not to be deceived, they believed, “Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Cor 6:9–10). The biblical writers seem to believe that people can choose to escape sexual temptations and bear its urges (1 Cor 10:13).

The biblical writer, Paul, declared that people lose control of their desires when they no longer recognize, thank, or honor God (Rom 1:18–27). Paul wrote that everyone can see God’s eternal power and divine nature in all that God created (Rom 1:20). Does all of this guilt come from rejecting God and never thinking of Him? Did God really give unbelievers over to impure lusts to dishonor their bodies with shameful behavior (Rom 1:18–24)? Therefore, Paul urged, “Escape sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body” (1 Cor 6:18). Do sexual sins cause guilt for hurting oneself? In rejecting God, a whole community has developed in rebellion against honoring and thanking the God of Jesus Christ.

Is this guilty conscience natural and God-given (Rom 2:14–15)? Is God trying to communicate something? There are going to be people who support all sexual expressions as a good thing. Of course, they are trying to justify behavior, but they do little to appease the moral conscience or take away the fear of death and judgment.

Addressing Guilt

Who can say that they have considered Jesus’s teaching honestly? Need help overcoming sexual temptations and desires? There are loving people who can help. To have a guilty conscience and sorrow is good when leading to repentance (2 Cor 7:9–10). All have sinned and fallen from the glory of God (Rom 3:23). May God strengthen those tempted in the faith of Jesus Christ to overcome these weaknesses. Jesus was tempted in every way, and yet Jesus is sinless and offers everyone grace and mercy (Heb 4:14–16). Jesus died a death that he did not deserve. Because he was sinless, death could not hold him and He rose from the dead. However, hundreds experienced Jesus risen from the dead (1 Cor 15:1–4). Those faithful to Christ will also rise on the last day in glorified bodies like Jesus (Rom 6:5; 8:11; 1 Cor 6:14; 15:51–53; Phil 3:20–21). If you are struggling to control sexual desires, please consider the power of God’s Word that can release you from this slavery (John 8:31–36; Rom 6:1–23).

God loves you, and I love you.

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How to Overcome and Prevent Sexual Sins