Jesus Christ is able “to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin” (Heb 4:15). Christ can help with every sinful and addictive behavior. His words are freely provided in the Bible. This article gives scriptures for the cause of sexual sins and shows the power of God’s strength to escape sexual sins and endure temptations by following the example of Christ. For a definition of sexual sins, the reader can see “What Are Sexual Sins?“
The Means of Self-Control for Sexual Desires
The Bible teaches that sexual desires are natural to how God has created people and the desires are for marriage. However, not everyone has sexual desires and do not need to marry. Marriage is self-control. In 1 Corinthians 7:1–9, the apostle Paul taught that those who burn with passion and have no self-control are to marry. In the Book of Romans, Paul revealed that there are desires that cannot be controlled by one’s own will (Rom 7:15–20).
The Cause of Sexual Sins
Sexual immorality is a sin against one’s own body because the body is meant for the Lord (1 Cor 6:12–20). Sexual sin traps many like any sin that becomes embedded in the flesh (Gal 5:19–21). Those who struggle with such can relate to these words, “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate” (Rom 7:15 ESV). Jesus professed, “The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Mark 14:38; cf. Matt 26:41). The problem is sin living within one’s flesh, and that person cannot find how to do what is good. The apostle Paul depicted,
So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. (Rom 7:17–20)
Since the sin is no longer from oneself, does this mean that someone can continue in sin and grace will abound? This cannot be (Rom 6:1). The apostle Paul responded to uncontrolled sin confessing, “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” (Rom 7:24). God provides a way of escape for all (1 Cor 10:12–13). No one can overcome indwelling sin without the indwelling Spirit of God. By the Spirit, the faithful are commanded to put to death the deeds of the flesh (Rom 8:13). Paul revealed,
For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. (Rom 8:5–8)
God’s Strength to Escape and Endure Sexual Temptations
(1) Put to death sin in the flesh by the Holy Spirit. The apostle Paul taught, “For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live” (Rom 8:13). God gives power by the strength of the Holy Spirit within the inner person (Eph 3:16). Have you ever found strength from God while praying, reading scripture, and contemplating God’s Word? That is the work of the Holy Spirit. Rely on the Holy Spirit for strength. The Spirit is the source of strength to put to death sin in the flesh. Seek God’s strength and find His strength by the indwelling of His Spirit.
The apostle Paul instructed Christians to be filled with the Spirit (Eph 5:18). Paul revealed, “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh” (Gal 5:16). Paul exhorted Christians to walk in the Spirit, and they will produce the fruits of the Spirit, which include self-control (Gal 5:22–23). Live by the Spirit and the Spirit will produce fruit and fill one’s life with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Gal 5:16–17, 22–23). Then Paul condemned sexual immorality, sexual impurity, and sensuality as actions that those who practice will not inherit the kingdom of God (Gal 5:19).
Believers must humble themselves before God and plant the Word in their hearts. James declared, “Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls” (Jas 1:21; cf. Eph 5:18; Col 3:16). When believers grow and add virtues, they attain self-control with faith, knowledge, and love (2 Pet 1:5–11).
(2) Pray to God when facing weakness and temptation. Jesus told His disciples on the night of His betrayal, “Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matt 26:41; Mark 14:38). Jesus warned His disciples, yet that night, they all fled when they said that they would not (Mark 14:26–31). Jesus instructed, “Pray that you may not enter into temptation” (Luke 22:40, 46). Was Jesus wrong about prayer? Would prayer have helped deliver these disciples? Yes, praying to God for help does affect change. If prayer against temptation was not useful and powerful, why would Jesus have commanded His disciples to pray? What happens if they would have prayed three times that night? The Christian must pray for the righteous behavior that will replace the sinful behavior — “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil” (Matt 6:13).
The apostle Paul instructed Christians to pray constantly (1 Thess 5:17). James affirmed, “The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working” (Jas 5:16b). Christ taught His followers to pray, “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil” (Luke 11:4). If one stumbles, the Christian can keep walking in the light having all sins washed away while confessing those sins to God (1 John 1:7–9). King David’s words in Psalm 51 set an example of confession, repentance, and prayer to God. “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me” (Ps 51:10).
(3) Change your thinking. Transformation must take place in the mind. In offering one’s body as a living sacrifice, the apostle Paul commanded, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect” (Rom 12:2). The Scriptures thoroughly instruct followers of Christ to change and renew the mind (Rom 1:28; 8:7; Eph 2:3; 4:17–24; Phil 3:19; 4:8; Col 1:12; 2:8; 3:1–5; 1 Tim 6:5; Titus 1:15; 2:11–12; Jas 1:8; 4:8; 1 Pet 1:13). Therefore, the Christian must think on those things that are truthful, honorable, just, pure, loving, respectful, virtuous, and praiseworthy (Phil 4:8).
Giving into temptations will not end temptations. The work of the Spirit is for the Spirit to change the believer (Rom 8:5–6, 11–13; 2 Cor 3:18; 1 Thess 4:1–8). Paul urged those following Christ and “to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness” (Eph 4:22–24). This includes replacing sinful habits with good works (Eph 4:25–32). The believer who is struggling with lust and impurity can counter looking to lust with looking to admire purity and goodness in others (Matt 5:27–30; cf. Esth 2:7). The Christian can learn from Job and make a covenant with the eyes by noting the blessings of not lusting and the curses of looking to lust (Job 31:1–8).
(4) Purify the heart. A darkened understanding and a hard heart reveal sensuality of coveting every kind of impure action (Eph 4:17–24). James commanded, “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded” (Jas 4:7–8). One must look to other parts of life, especially to other parts of the heart. Sinful problems of the heart like resentment, guilt, and fearful anxiety demonstrate the state of the heart.
Each person must consider oneself a servant of Christ and not seek to please people (Gal 1:10; cf. 1 Cor 4:1–7). A believer must seek and set the heart to identify oneself as a servant of Christ. For this, one must read Scripture, pray, worship, and assemble with Christians to receive edification in God’s Word, find holy relationships, and stir others to love and good works. A Christian must realize that God loves you unconditionally even while a sinner (Rom 5:8; 8:35–39). However, God’s grace is for those who walk in the light and not in the darkness of continuing to sin (Heb 10:26–31; 1 John 1:5–2:6).
Resentment, guilt, and anxiety reveal a lack of faith and hope in God. When people set their own expectations, these are deceitful and provoke selfish ambitions and coveting desires (Jas 3:13–18). The world often calls these ambitions “goals.” What would God want the believer to do about these ambitions? The Christian must see that following God is the better life, and the believer must replace ambitions with “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” (Gal 5:22–23).
(5) Make no way to gratify desires. Paul revealed, “Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires” (Rom 13:13–14). Solomon warned that one must not go near the street of the adulterous woman at night (Prov 7). The follower of Christ cannot stay in the midst of temptations. They must seek to avoid the temptations of secret sins. Many believers simply miss this point. Even when a Christian sets the mind on Christ, that mindset must include avoiding all forms of evil and fleeing from temptations. If temptations come from friends, places, and exposures, the tempted must keep the good and remove the evil.
This is a war, and Christians must fight the good fight. Peter declared, “Abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul” (1 Pet 2:11). Doing nothing is not going to aid anyone in overcoming these sins. Therefore, Christ’s followers must remove sources of temptation to sin. Jesus proclaimed in Matthew 18:9, “And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into the hell of fire” (Mark 9:43–48; cf. Matt 19:12).
(6) Escape and endure temptation. God is faithful giving a way to escape for everyone to endure temptations (1 Cor 10:12–13). The strength to endure comes from God’s Spirit. Enduring temptations and urges of the flesh is the only way to put to death such desires. Christians must escape and bear the temptation as the apostle taught, “Flee from sexual immorality” (1 Cor 6:18). The faithful are like Joseph who escaped the temptation of Potiphar’s wife (Gen 39:8–13).
Giving into sin will not stop temptations or sin. Jesus did not give into temptation to overcome temptation. Christians must escape and bear temptations by God’s strength. They must work diligently to have this mindset always, and they would act wisely to pray constantly for this. When Satan tempted Jesus, Jesus countered the temptation with a holy mind set on Scripture rather than trying to ignore the temptation (Matt 4; Luke 4). Believers should not condemn themselves because sin tempts them. The evil one tempted Jesus. Sinful desires will tempt everyone. Giving in to temptation will not help anyone resist the next temptation (1 Cor 6:18). Giving in to temptations of impurity will only make temptations worse and increase sin upon sin (Rom 6:19).
The Scriptures teach Christians to kill evil passions and desires (Gal 5:24; Col 3:5). For sexual sins, Christians must refrain from sexual impurity that is self-stimulation and all other temptations (Rom 6:19; 1 Thess 4:7). Christians must avoid the lie that urges will keep growing and not stop until giving into sin. James urged, “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” (Jas 4:7). Knowing the path of sin that “each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire” (Jas 1:14). Believers can endure without giving in to temptation (1 Cor 10:12–13).
Enduring and overcoming temptations bring happiness to believers. The newness of life will fill their lives more than any worldly pleasure. For “Blessed [happy] is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him” (Jas 1:12; cf. 1:4). Each Christian must rely on the Spirit of Christ for strength to escape and endure with prayer and having set the mind on God’s Word.
Die with Christ to Rise with Christ
Jesus urged that everyone lose one’s life to save it (Luke 9:24). Christians must crucify themselves with Christ to remain alive in Him (Gal 2:20; cf. John 15:13). To live by the Spirit, a believer must die with Christ, be buried with Him, and rise alive with Him. If a believer does not do this, then that person is not alive with Christ. Those who are of Christ crucify the flesh with its passions and desires (Gal 5:24). Jesus preached, “For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it” (Luke 9:24). No one is saved by grace until God gives new life by raising the repentant believer into the newness of life with Christ (Eph 2:4–6; cf. Phil 3:9–10). With an obedient faith, a believer is only made alive with Christ through Jesus’s resurrection when that believer dies to sin and is buried with Christ in baptism (Rom 6:1–7; Col 2:12–13). According to the New Testament, only from baptism is a repentant believer raised into the newness of life. This is the gospel by which God saves all believers (1 Cor 15:1–4; cf. Rom 1:16). The Scriptures warn all to obey the gospel (2 Thess 1:7–9). Furthermore, Jesus commanded baptism in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit after He rose from the dead (Matt 28:19; Mark 16:16). This baptism is an immersion in water and in Jesus’s name (1 Pet 1:3; 3:21; John 3:5; Titus 3:5; cf. Acts 2:38; 10:47–48; 22:16).
The Indwelling of the Spirit
Christ’s followers know the love of Christ by Jesus’s selfless sacrifice (1 John 4:9–10). God dwells within Christians when those believers abide in love because God is love (1 John 4:16). Thus, the Holy Spirit has poured God’s love into the hearts of Christians (Rom 5:5–8). Only by Christ’s sacrifice can anyone really know love and be compelled by love (John 15:13; 1 John 3:16; cf. 1 John 5:1–3). When God indwells by love, Christians gain their strength from the Spirit (Eph 3:16–19). The believer must have this love in one’s heart, and then Christ’s love will compel that person to overcome. The love of Christ controls those who have concluded that because Jesus died then they die to themselves and live for the one who died and rose for them (2 Cor 5:14–15). The Holy Spirit produces love as the first of the fruits of the Spirit (Gal 5:22–23). True believers increase in that love by abiding in Christ’s words (John 14:21–24).
A New Life with a New Perspective
Christians can see through desires and temptations to observe that temporary pleasure is evil, guilt, regret, resentment, and fear. The grass is never greener on the other side of sin, and temptation is a mirage and sin is enslavement (Rom 6:15–23). The apostle Paul explained, “For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. But what fruit were you getting at that time from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death” (Rom 6:20–21). What do people gain from sin? What is left after temporary pleasure? Slavery is on the other side of giving into sin. Jesus proclaimed, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin” (John 8:34). However, Jesus revealed, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:31–32).
God’s grace reminds believers to deny worldly lusts (Titus 2:11–12). The Christian must see God’s grace as more than salvation from past sins, but also as salvation from giving into future temptations. Christ has forgiven the Christian’s past life of sin. Sin may continue to tempt Christians. Why sin again? “What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it?” (Rom 6:1–2). Christians must realize God’s grace in the forgiveness of sins, so that they truly love God (Luke 7:40–43). Jesus’s love by His death controls followers of Christ (2 Cor 5:14–15).
Frequently Asked Questions
A. What about God’s forgiveness and grace? What about if someone stumbles in sin again? Everyone sins and everyone stumbles (Rom 3:23; Jas 3:2). The Christian should feel guilt with godly sorrow and let that godly sorrow help change oneself. Christians should have godly sorrow: “For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death” (2 Cor 7:10). God will forgive everyone if they repent. Jesus taught His followers to forgive when one confesses repentance seven times in a day (Luke 17:3–4). Why? Because Christians are to forgive as God forgives them (Eph 4:32; Col 3:13). What if Christians confess repentance seven times in a day to God? Therefore, as believers walk in the light and confess their sins to the Father, God cleanses them from all sins (1 John 1:7, 9).
B. How can a Christian avoid lewd images and pornography? Starting with the internet, TV, and magazines. Looking and lusting at lewd images, pornography, and erotic writings are the most common source of impurity among Christian men and women. Having the internet is like having a stack of pornographic magazines under one’s bed. The temptation is always there, so one must put to death sin in the flesh. The conviction of not giving in to the impurity of self-stimulate is essential to overcome these temptations in time. Sexual temptations are like the street of the adulterous woman as Solomon instructs not to go near (Prov 7). The internet or television can become the street of the adulterous and strange woman. The Christian man must not let her street end at his house. The Christian woman must not listen to the smooth-talking man.
The Christian must get rid of any saved sexual material. This person should remove of the bad cable channels or remove cable TV altogether. Every home should have an internet filter set on the router to protect children and delay temptations. Regarding internet filters, OpenDNS and CleanBrowsing are free and set on routers. Filter softwares often provide a curfew to restrict certain times of temptation. The Christian must make no provision for the flesh (Rom 13:13–14).
C. What about natural emissions? God has provided ways to cope by managing sexual desires. The Scriptures refer to nocturnal emissions and staying clean (Deut 23:9–14). When Israelite soldiers were single or away from their wives, they were not excused in the circumstances of war to behave in a sexually immoral way by committing adultery, rape, or any other evil. Married men must know how to manage themselves at specific times in their marriage. This natural release is what God has naturally provided. God gave further instructions to Israelite men to live in a way to control themselves (Lev 15:1–17). Women also have a similar natural function, and they have the same task to maintain self-control. No one needs to submit to the world’s ways of addressing these desires by giving into lust and impurity of self-stimulation.
D. What about desires like same-sex attraction? If someone has desires like homosexual desires and other forms of paraphilia, these are lusts and temptations given to people who are not recognizing God, glorifying Him and, or thanking Him (Rom 1:18–23). Without God, sin will dwell in the flesh and take each person captive. These lusts will grow from sexual impurity (Rom 1:24–28). Therefore, they must turn back to God to overcome these unnatural desires and put to death sin by the strength of God’s Spirit. They must recognize that God made each person in one’s specific gender and He made each person in His image. This is true even if someone is born a eunuch (Matt 19:11). Thank God and glorify Him for the various traits of each gender. They must grow and become strong in the natural qualities of one’s God-given sex. If one is born as a male, live as a man, enjoy that life, put away any femininity, and restore natural desires by thanking and glorifying God. If someone was born a female, she must increase her femininity and womanly qualities by putting away masculine habits. She must thank and glorify God. While sin will still tempt everyone, each must listen to Jesus and become committed for the kingdom of heaven (Matt 19:12). God made man and woman become one flesh in marriage, and all desires outside of this are outside of God’s will.
E. How can marriage help a Christian manage one’s desires? God made man and woman to become one flesh (Gen 2:24). God’s design of marriage is why people have sexual desires. A husband and a wife fit together by God’s design. Paul taught, “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband” (1 Cor 7:2). The Holy Spirit permitted, “But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Cor 7:9). Spouses must not withhold marital intimacy (1 Cor 7:1–9). Marital affections are due to each spouse. Paul taught, “The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband” (1 Cor 7:3). He also instructed, “Do not deprive one another” (1 Cor 7:5).
F. How does a biblical respect for marriage help? Just the simple conviction that sex is an act of love meant only for one’s spouse changes how someone directs personal desires. All must honor marriage by honoring the marriage bed even if you are not married. An unmarried person can defile the marriage bed too by having sex outside of marriage just as Jesus taught (Matt 5:32). Defiling the marriage bed is a reference to fornication in Hebrews 13:4, which says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
G. How can a Christian maintain purity when dating and engaged? Paul taught, “But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires” (Rom 13:14). The Christian should only date someone who he or she would marry. When they decide otherwise, then they can end the relationship. Double dates and meeting in public places is the best if not the only way to date to even avoid accusations.
Physical relationships between a man and woman progress. The progression of affection is a part of how God has designed man and woman. Romantic passion usually progresses like this: an arm around the shoulder, holding hands, kissing, passionate kissing, and so forth into petting, undressing, stimulating, and intercourse. Of this progression, when does one quit thinking clearly? Most would point to passionate kissing. At passionate kissing, rational thinking is often thrown away as the couple becomes “love drunk.” Followers of Christ can prevent this progression into sin by avoiding passionate kissing or drawing the line somewhere in the progression toward sin.
Sin tempts some couples when they are alone for even an hour. Sexual desires reach a point of sexual intoxication when one cannot think soberly. This is like trying to talk sense into a drunk. How can someone prevent such sensual drunkenness? Christians must keep from the passion of lust. What triggers sexual passion and intoxication? Believers should decide and know exactly when to stop along the progression. They would be wise to inform one’s date. If a date passes this point, the Christian can separate from that person for some days or weeks for discipline.
H. How must a Christian live with one’s spouse? The husband must love his wife unconditionally as Christ loves the church and God loves each person (Eph 5:28–31; 1 Pet 3:7). He must do this with understanding and without bitterness (Col 3:19; 1 Pet 3:7). Likewise, women must also recognize that God’s ideal for marriage is for a wife to love and respect her husband by humbling herself as is fitting to the Lord (Eph 5:22, 33; Col 3:18; Titus 2:4; 1 Pet 3:1). God gave desires for a spouse within the intimacy of marriage so all desires for others are a perversion of God’s design.
I. How can a Christian couple avoid adultery and better maintain affections within marriage? Paul revealed, “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband” (1 Cor 7:2). Marriage is the purpose of sexual desire. Those who want more romantic gestures besides physical intimacy should comply with God’s instructions for sexual intimacy first. Withholding sex for other things is not biblical. Temptations can arise from not fulfilling marital affections (1 Cor 7:4–7). A successful marriage is based on rendering what is due. Also, obeying Ephesians 5:23–31 by husbands loving wives and wives respectfully submitting to husbands will usually prevent these sexual sins. Now and all the time, “make no provisions for the flesh” (Rom 13:14). Christians are wise not to privately meet with anyone of the opposite sex. Temptations for adultery increase by a lack of attention, affection, and admiration from one’s spouse. A little attention, affection, and admiration from someone else welcome an affair, yet attention, affection, and admiration toward one’s spouse push such temptations away.
The Breath of God 
I hope you mean “life and death” in a spiritual way. First, God bless you for wanting to make God happy. He loves you, and wants you to repent. God does want you to be sanctified and holy (1 Th 4.1-8). Please, read Romans 6-8.13 repeatedly. Note the verses about baptism, obedience leading to justification, holiness, and setting your mind on the Spirit.
Paul said, “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief” (1 Ti 1.15). Set an example for the others teenagers, but showing your humility to confess that you are a sinner. This does not mean that you confess the details of your sin that may cause others to stumble. Your sins are great before God, and therefore, see how much God loves you with His overflowing grace. Look, Jesus was tempted. It is not a sin to be tempted. The Bible recognizes that people lack self-control in sexual desires (1 Co 7.1-9). I very much urge you to make no provision for the flesh. Make no way to sin (Ro 13.13-14). This is a form of self-control – preventing sin. You cannot remove the desires, because God gave you those desires for your spouse. Remove the pornography. Remove the computer or phone from your presence. Remove the computer from your room or remove the internet from it. Set a filter. Use a self-imposed curfew for times when you are usually tempted. Microsoft’s Family Filter does this. Endure the temptations, and bear the urges (1 Co 10.13).
Talk to an older Christian that you are close to and who is of the same gender. Tell them that you are struggling with lust or sexual desires. Don’t give them other details. I promise you that most can relate to what you are facing and struggling with. They may give better advice. Yet, some may not be able to help you at all. Yet, talking to them may be all that you need from them. I want you to answer the questions from this article for yourself: https://godsbreath.net/2012/12/12/how-to-overcome-sinful-addictions-through-Christ/. I think this will help you to at least be more aware of your behavior.
Consider God’s grace from this exert from this article: “What about God’s forgiveness and grace? What about if we stumble again? Everyone sins and everyone stumbles (Rom. 3:23, Jas 3:2). Feel guilty and let it help change you. Have godly sorrow and fear God since ‘godly sorrow works repentance unto salvation’ (2 Cor. 7:10). You can be forgiven by God’s grace. Jesus taught us to forgive when one confesses repentance 7 times in a day (Luke 17:3-4). Why? Because we are to forgive as God forgives us (Eph. 4:32, Col. 3:13). What if we confess repentance 7 times in a day to God? Therefore, as we walk in the light and confess our sins to the Father, God cleanses us from all sins (1 John 1:7, 9).”
May God bless you. You have my prayer. Write any time you need.
I am a teenager and I have been struggling with pornography for years and it has affected me terribly. I keep lusting after boys and girls and I have not told anybody because I feel ashamed. I am a Christian…known as a teenage pastor, I have been crying ever since and I have never been so afraid. Right now I am not even sure of how God sees me because I feel I am really terrible. Sometimes I just wish rapture will come and everything would end.and this is also coupled with masturbation. I really love God and I just want to make him happy, but I keep falling.even when I feel I have tried for some days I then do it again and LET THE PAIN COME AGAIN, I keep repenting, and I don’t just want to get caught watching porn, or doing crap.i just need help.please.this is a matter of life and death
Thank you for your devotion and research of God’s word. I am married with children, and am currently struggling with sexual sin. I have recently noticed before i was married i have followed the same sin pattern my father and brother follow. Keep note I was not raised at all by my father since i was three years old. Yet before marriage and finding God, my life consisted of leaving my daughter with babysitters and trying to find random women to go home with at the bar, the same as my brother and father. Recently my wife and I have had a hard time dealing with my desire for other women. I love my wife and feel extremely convicted of even looking at another women with intent of lust. I do not want to keep hurting my God or my wife with my temptation and desire. I can hear God’s voice in my mind telling me not to look or change my thoughts, yet sometimes i can’t seem to stop. the desire almost feels like it takes complete control. I hate it, I just want to desire God’s will for my life and to find my wife to be the most attractive women I have ever seen. I no longer want this desire. I have prayed everyday for forgiveness and this desire to be ripped from me, for God’s strength to fill me, and for me to live within his will. I have tried ridding my house of things that will tempt me, rated r movies with sexual sin in them, even pg13 movies. Magazines with sexual related content. I have read things on the internet like this. Asked advice from other christians, Yet i still find myself at times struggling. I have beaten my drinking habit and my nicotene habit. Why cant I completely beat this as well? I have hurt God and my wife too much, it is causing her to feel undesirable and causing problems with our marriage. I dont want to fail. I love God, but I do not feel I am a good servant. I love my wife, but do not feel I am a good husband. I want to be a good spiritual doorkeeper to my home, and i want to be a good example of God’s love. I need help. Lord please help me! In jesus name! How do I overcome?
Hello Ty,
I think you see how this sin is against your own body (1 Cor. 6). Look at your successes for a moment. From what you are saying, you have a repenting heart and you continue to improve little by little. Stress and other factors may be weakening you. Keep praying for wisdom. God will give it (Jas 1.5).
I wonder, “How are you lusting?” If you look at a woman to lust for her (in coveting), then you have adultery in your heart. Yet, if you are tempted, you have not sinned, but the one who is lewd has sinned against you. Lewdness or lasciviousness is the sin of seducing another (2 Pe 2.18). A woman in revealing clothing is the one sinning, but do not be seduced to sleep with her or covet and you have not sinned but been tempted. Society and even “Christians” would rather shame men for seeing temptation. My point is that Jesus was tempted, but that was not His fault or weakness. We must distinguish between temptation and sin. Sin is not your body being tempted or having natural desire, but what you do with temptation.
It is too late to control yourself when you have lost control, so you must avoid the temptations and make no provision for the flesh (Rom 13.13-14). Yet, we will still be tempted some times. From reading 1 Cor. 7.1-9, we find that self-control is not always possible when you are tempted, but your spouse has a role in helping you. Encourage your intimacy with her.
In the conclusion, pray, read, and walk in the light, and you will be forgiven (1 John 1.7, 9). Please take scriptures from this article as you need.
God bless. You have my prayer.
Thank you so much. I have struggled in the past (and still do) with sexual desires and sins, and I want to change but I have been having a hard time. You have dearly helped me to have self control. Thank you, and God bless you. I can’t tell you enough.
God bless you. Comments like this are encouraging. You have prayer.
Hi, I’ve been with my girlfriend for 5 years and I recently dedicated my life in June to Christ after engaging in fornication that led to a compromising situation of her getting pregnant. I had to seek prayer and forgiveness as I was not ready for a child which lead to her having a miscarriage, this led me to my decision to want to get saved.
By the way prior to this we were trying not give into temptation and save ourselves for marriage, I also like may men was enticed by porn. However was able to fight the strange hold it had over my life with the help of Christ and 3 months prior to the event there was no sexual activity.
Once baptized I did feel the comfort and joy over the holly spirit in my life as I fixed my eyes on Jesus and his words. However I found that a couple months down the line we ended up fornicating (no actual sex) and felt really guilt considering the reason why I choose to give my life to Christ, this has recently happened again on another occasion this time actually having sex which I repented for with all my heart.
Though no matter how hard I try to abstain from and supress my sexual desires (even though we don’t have sex bar that 1 occasion since I was saved) I can’t seem to fight the temptation of want to touch and hold her. We both struggle with this as we love each other very much and no that our love is being taken out of the context of God’s love which is marriage.
What frustrates me about the whole situation is that pretty much all the worldly desires from my old self, I have been able to take control of supressing them through the power of Christ be it money, or listening to explicit music and even pornography and masturbation.
This is my/our biggest struggle with sin when it comes to our Christian lives, so much so that we are determined to get married next year though I fear that between now and next year we will end up falling again. I have prayed and prayed and there periods where I feel the strength of the Holy Spirit and have overcome the temptation but for one reason or another on a particular occasion we can’t seem to stop or say no to fornication I feel like a disjointed Christian.
I will pray and mediate over this information for I do have hope and faith that God will deliver me from this struggle but the battle between the flesh and the spirit is challenging to say the least. I pray for us all that we can be delivered from our sins.
Hi brother,
I lost my initial reply. Please, forgive the delay. Time and place are keys to making no provision for the flesh. This is self-control to prevent sin. If you both are tempted in the evening, avoid being alone together in the evening. If you are only tempted at your house, avoid being alone at your house. Pornography works the same way. Better to be bored than entertained and tempted. First Corinthians 7 speaks of those who have no self-control except within marriage. Look forward to marriage.
God bless. You have my prayer.
Been struggling with sexual sin (pornography) for years. I’ve tried so hard to rid myself of this sin, but I’m getting so tired of disappointing myself. Been in church since I was born, been involved in ministry for years…Have a father who cheated on my mother and is so full of pride that I can’t even trust sharing my issues with Him nor my mother who’s interest is mostly on things supernatural. At a point where I simply don’t know what to do. It’s been my prayer for the past weeks that the Holy Spirit fill me and help me overcome my weaknesses as I have been reading much of the same verses above, but I keep falling back into porn. I realize it’s not the Holy Spirit thats the problem but IT”S ME! I’m doing something wrong, but I’m not sure what. I’m probly a hypocrite in everyway , worse than my parents. I’ve felt like God’s been calling me to Bible school, but I know he’d never let me in this state that I’m in. Tired, Confused, Helpless. THanks for taking the time to share pastor… Please pray for me!
Hi brother,
It is better to face this now than in the ministry. Remember that you may lack self-control as noted in 1 Corinthians 7 where marriage is the means of self-control.
Rather than personal willpower and your own strength in pursuing self-control. Listen to God, “Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely; and may your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it” (1 Th 5.23-24). Let God do this. You pursue strengthening your faith, growing in love, and being filled with the Spirit. Then God will strengthen you.
You have my prayers. Let me know if I can help more.
I must also add that if you are so close to accessing pornography, then you are too close. Make no provision for the flesh (Ro 13.13-14). Focus more on limiting the times of the day when you would have access to pornography.
I NEED GUIDANCE. am single truly born again but fall into sexual sin always .i repent hoping that i wont do it
Cut the sin off, brother. Cut it off from your life. If you eye causes you to sin, pluck it (figuratively). You have my prayer. God bless.
Lord, cleanse me completely from sexual sins,…porno, drink/prostitution, sex holidays,,,, all evil sins
John,
It is great to hear your prayer, but do more than pray. God commands you to put to death your passions and desires. He believes that you can do that. You have the power to do that through His Spirit’s revealed Word.
Those, whose sins are greater, love Christ more for His forgiveness (Luke 7.40-43). Realize that enduring your lusts is the crucifying of your old man and putting to death worldly desires (Col. 3.5).
Be sure that you are resurrected with Christ through immersion in water in His name (1 Peter 1.3, 3.21).
God bless you. You have my prayer.
Hi! First of all, I’d want to say thank you for posting this. Honestly, I have committed sexual immorality. What’s embarrassing is, I am an active member of our church. I was exposed to some mildly explicit media when I was little because of some adult movies that I’ve seen and I did not really have any idea that seeing those would eventually take hold of my life when I got older. Right now, I have a boyfriend, and we’re both Christians. We met in church and have been active in church for most of our lives. I was told to not go to secluded or private places alone with him (to avoid such thing to happen). I listened to them but I was not able to keep it for long. I thought I had the self-control I needed. It has happened not just once. We never took off our clothes or anything but the act of doing “it” is haunting my conscience. Having known that sexual immorality is wrong and knowing that as Christians, we should breathe and live God’s Word. This is making me guilty. Both of us asked for forgiveness for doing so. and right now, we never spoke about it and we somehow encourage each other to redirect our relationship to a relationship centered in Christ not our own. Right now though, I still keep on asking God for forgiveness because I keep haunted by memories of it. He is still my boyfriend now, but we live miles away from each other. somehow, this is helping us get through and reflect, at least on my part, about what we did then. I love him and I know he loves me, too.
Hi Danny,
God bless you for courage and diligence. God bless you striving to stay pure. God forgives you, so how can you not forgive yourself? Yet, remember and learn from what you have experienced.
Your desires are not evil, but rather for marriage – for your future husband. May God help to stay pure. I can very much relate to your struggle when I was younger Christian.
Thank you for your example in drawing line. I believe very strongly with relationships, dating, and courting are specifically for those who are ready to marry. What else is the point? I hope that you consider this.
God bless you for wanting your relationship to be Christ centered. This will certainly help you both. Yet, also remember that the Bible speaks of Christians, who lack self-control, are to marry.
Grace and peace to you in Christ.
Thank you so much Pastor Scott. I haven’t told anyone else of my struggle with this sin that I have committed simply because I was embarrassed. I was embarrassed because I have heard and taught His Word to other people yet I did a disgraceful thing. Thank you for encouraging me to do my best to follow what God wants me to do. I now know for sure that as long as I repent and believe that He can renew my spirit, I can start a clean slate- a life that is truly in Christ. :) God bless you more!
I want God to deliver me from ALL sexual sins. I can not stop by myself as much as I try and know that I shouldn’t do it, but I find myself still indulging in it. It’s like a cycle in my life for many years now which even makes me question myself, am I really born again. I will go to church or anointed meetings then go home or so and partake in having sex with a female. I know I shouldn’t do so but because of ignorance and disobedience I know that I should stay away but still engage to please myself, then when I’m done I feel bad. I want Jesus to take away all sexual desires and remove everything for my life that’s not if Him and to destroy this problem from its root. I’m tired of keep doing it, then asking for forgiveness and deliverance.
May God help you to truly repent and give you forgiveness. Coping and bearing the desires may be the hardest part. Your faith is truly being put to the test. Remember that these desires are meant for the good of marriage. We cannot forget, “Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh” (Ga 5.16). Pray for wisdom and God will give it to you (Ja 1.5).