Jesus Christ is able “to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin” (Heb 4:15). Christ can help with every sinful and addictive behavior. His words are freely provided in the Bible. This article gives scriptures for the cause of sexual sins and shows the power of God’s strength to escape sexual sins and endure temptations by following the example of Christ. For a definition of sexual sins, the reader can see “What Are Sexual Sins?“
The Means of Self-Control for Sexual Desires
The Bible teaches that sexual desires are natural to how God has created people and the desires are for marriage. However, not everyone has sexual desires and do not need to marry. Marriage is self-control. In 1 Corinthians 7:1–9, the apostle Paul taught that those who burn with passion and have no self-control are to marry. In the Book of Romans, Paul revealed that there are desires that cannot be controlled by one’s own will (Rom 7:15–20).
The Cause of Sexual Sins
Sexual immorality is a sin against one’s own body because the body is meant for the Lord (1 Cor 6:12–20). Sexual sin traps many like any sin that becomes embedded in the flesh (Gal 5:19–21). Those who struggle with such can relate to these words, “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate” (Rom 7:15 ESV). Jesus professed, “The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Mark 14:38; cf. Matt 26:41). The problem is sin living within one’s flesh, and that person cannot find how to do what is good. The apostle Paul depicted,
So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. (Rom 7:17–20)
Since the sin is no longer from oneself, does this mean that someone can continue in sin and grace will abound? This cannot be (Rom 6:1). The apostle Paul responded to uncontrolled sin confessing, “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” (Rom 7:24). God provides a way of escape for all (1 Cor 10:12–13). No one can overcome indwelling sin without the indwelling Spirit of God. By the Spirit, the faithful are commanded to put to death the deeds of the flesh (Rom 8:13). Paul revealed,
For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. (Rom 8:5–8)
God’s Strength to Escape and Endure Sexual Temptations
(1) Put to death sin in the flesh by the Holy Spirit. The apostle Paul taught, “For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live” (Rom 8:13). God gives power by the strength of the Holy Spirit within the inner person (Eph 3:16). Have you ever found strength from God while praying, reading scripture, and contemplating God’s Word? That is the work of the Holy Spirit. Rely on the Holy Spirit for strength. The Spirit is the source of strength to put to death sin in the flesh. Seek God’s strength and find His strength by the indwelling of His Spirit.
The apostle Paul instructed Christians to be filled with the Spirit (Eph 5:18). Paul revealed, “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh” (Gal 5:16). Paul exhorted Christians to walk in the Spirit, and they will produce the fruits of the Spirit, which include self-control (Gal 5:22–23). Live by the Spirit and the Spirit will produce fruit and fill one’s life with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Gal 5:16–17, 22–23). Then Paul condemned sexual immorality, sexual impurity, and sensuality as actions that those who practice will not inherit the kingdom of God (Gal 5:19).
Believers must humble themselves before God and plant the Word in their hearts. James declared, “Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls” (Jas 1:21; cf. Eph 5:18; Col 3:16). When believers grow and add virtues, they attain self-control with faith, knowledge, and love (2 Pet 1:5–11).
(2) Pray to God when facing weakness and temptation. Jesus told His disciples on the night of His betrayal, “Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matt 26:41; Mark 14:38). Jesus warned His disciples, yet that night, they all fled when they said that they would not (Mark 14:26–31). Jesus instructed, “Pray that you may not enter into temptation” (Luke 22:40, 46). Was Jesus wrong about prayer? Would prayer have helped deliver these disciples? Yes, praying to God for help does affect change. If prayer against temptation was not useful and powerful, why would Jesus have commanded His disciples to pray? What happens if they would have prayed three times that night? The Christian must pray for the righteous behavior that will replace the sinful behavior — “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil” (Matt 6:13).
The apostle Paul instructed Christians to pray constantly (1 Thess 5:17). James affirmed, “The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working” (Jas 5:16b). Christ taught His followers to pray, “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil” (Luke 11:4). If one stumbles, the Christian can keep walking in the light having all sins washed away while confessing those sins to God (1 John 1:7–9). King David’s words in Psalm 51 set an example of confession, repentance, and prayer to God. “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me” (Ps 51:10).
(3) Change your thinking. Transformation must take place in the mind. In offering one’s body as a living sacrifice, the apostle Paul commanded, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect” (Rom 12:2). The Scriptures thoroughly instruct followers of Christ to change and renew the mind (Rom 1:28; 8:7; Eph 2:3; 4:17–24; Phil 3:19; 4:8; Col 1:12; 2:8; 3:1–5; 1 Tim 6:5; Titus 1:15; 2:11–12; Jas 1:8; 4:8; 1 Pet 1:13). Therefore, the Christian must think on those things that are truthful, honorable, just, pure, loving, respectful, virtuous, and praiseworthy (Phil 4:8).
Giving into temptations will not end temptations. The work of the Spirit is for the Spirit to change the believer (Rom 8:5–6, 11–13; 2 Cor 3:18; 1 Thess 4:1–8). Paul urged those following Christ and “to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness” (Eph 4:22–24). This includes replacing sinful habits with good works (Eph 4:25–32). The believer who is struggling with lust and impurity can counter looking to lust with looking to admire purity and goodness in others (Matt 5:27–30; cf. Esth 2:7). The Christian can learn from Job and make a covenant with the eyes by noting the blessings of not lusting and the curses of looking to lust (Job 31:1–8).
(4) Purify the heart. A darkened understanding and a hard heart reveal sensuality of coveting every kind of impure action (Eph 4:17–24). James commanded, “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded” (Jas 4:7–8). One must look to other parts of life, especially to other parts of the heart. Sinful problems of the heart like resentment, guilt, and fearful anxiety demonstrate the state of the heart.
Each person must consider oneself a servant of Christ and not seek to please people (Gal 1:10; cf. 1 Cor 4:1–7). A believer must seek and set the heart to identify oneself as a servant of Christ. For this, one must read Scripture, pray, worship, and assemble with Christians to receive edification in God’s Word, find holy relationships, and stir others to love and good works. A Christian must realize that God loves you unconditionally even while a sinner (Rom 5:8; 8:35–39). However, God’s grace is for those who walk in the light and not in the darkness of continuing to sin (Heb 10:26–31; 1 John 1:5–2:6).
Resentment, guilt, and anxiety reveal a lack of faith and hope in God. When people set their own expectations, these are deceitful and provoke selfish ambitions and coveting desires (Jas 3:13–18). The world often calls these ambitions “goals.” What would God want the believer to do about these ambitions? The Christian must see that following God is the better life, and the believer must replace ambitions with “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” (Gal 5:22–23).
(5) Make no way to gratify desires. Paul revealed, “Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires” (Rom 13:13–14). Solomon warned that one must not go near the street of the adulterous woman at night (Prov 7). The follower of Christ cannot stay in the midst of temptations. They must seek to avoid the temptations of secret sins. Many believers simply miss this point. Even when a Christian sets the mind on Christ, that mindset must include avoiding all forms of evil and fleeing from temptations. If temptations come from friends, places, and exposures, the tempted must keep the good and remove the evil.
This is a war, and Christians must fight the good fight. Peter declared, “Abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul” (1 Pet 2:11). Doing nothing is not going to aid anyone in overcoming these sins. Therefore, Christ’s followers must remove sources of temptation to sin. Jesus proclaimed in Matthew 18:9, “And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into the hell of fire” (Mark 9:43–48; cf. Matt 19:12).
(6) Escape and endure temptation. God is faithful giving a way to escape for everyone to endure temptations (1 Cor 10:12–13). The strength to endure comes from God’s Spirit. Enduring temptations and urges of the flesh is the only way to put to death such desires. Christians must escape and bear the temptation as the apostle taught, “Flee from sexual immorality” (1 Cor 6:18). The faithful are like Joseph who escaped the temptation of Potiphar’s wife (Gen 39:8–13).
Giving into sin will not stop temptations or sin. Jesus did not give into temptation to overcome temptation. Christians must escape and bear temptations by God’s strength. They must work diligently to have this mindset always, and they would act wisely to pray constantly for this. When Satan tempted Jesus, Jesus countered the temptation with a holy mind set on Scripture rather than trying to ignore the temptation (Matt 4; Luke 4). Believers should not condemn themselves because sin tempts them. The evil one tempted Jesus. Sinful desires will tempt everyone. Giving in to temptation will not help anyone resist the next temptation (1 Cor 6:18). Giving in to temptations of impurity will only make temptations worse and increase sin upon sin (Rom 6:19).
The Scriptures teach Christians to kill evil passions and desires (Gal 5:24; Col 3:5). For sexual sins, Christians must refrain from sexual impurity that is self-stimulation and all other temptations (Rom 6:19; 1 Thess 4:7). Christians must avoid the lie that urges will keep growing and not stop until giving into sin. James urged, “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” (Jas 4:7). Knowing the path of sin that “each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire” (Jas 1:14). Believers can endure without giving in to temptation (1 Cor 10:12–13).
Enduring and overcoming temptations bring happiness to believers. The newness of life will fill their lives more than any worldly pleasure. For “Blessed [happy] is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him” (Jas 1:12; cf. 1:4). Each Christian must rely on the Spirit of Christ for strength to escape and endure with prayer and having set the mind on God’s Word.
Die with Christ to Rise with Christ
Jesus urged that everyone lose one’s life to save it (Luke 9:24). Christians must crucify themselves with Christ to remain alive in Him (Gal 2:20; cf. John 15:13). To live by the Spirit, a believer must die with Christ, be buried with Him, and rise alive with Him. If a believer does not do this, then that person is not alive with Christ. Those who are of Christ crucify the flesh with its passions and desires (Gal 5:24). Jesus preached, “For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it” (Luke 9:24). No one is saved by grace until God gives new life by raising the repentant believer into the newness of life with Christ (Eph 2:4–6; cf. Phil 3:9–10). With an obedient faith, a believer is only made alive with Christ through Jesus’s resurrection when that believer dies to sin and is buried with Christ in baptism (Rom 6:1–7; Col 2:12–13). According to the New Testament, only from baptism is a repentant believer raised into the newness of life. This is the gospel by which God saves all believers (1 Cor 15:1–4; cf. Rom 1:16). The Scriptures warn all to obey the gospel (2 Thess 1:7–9). Furthermore, Jesus commanded baptism in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit after He rose from the dead (Matt 28:19; Mark 16:16). This baptism is an immersion in water and in Jesus’s name (1 Pet 1:3; 3:21; John 3:5; Titus 3:5; cf. Acts 2:38; 10:47–48; 22:16).
The Indwelling of the Spirit
Christ’s followers know the love of Christ by Jesus’s selfless sacrifice (1 John 4:9–10). God dwells within Christians when those believers abide in love because God is love (1 John 4:16). Thus, the Holy Spirit has poured God’s love into the hearts of Christians (Rom 5:5–8). Only by Christ’s sacrifice can anyone really know love and be compelled by love (John 15:13; 1 John 3:16; cf. 1 John 5:1–3). When God indwells by love, Christians gain their strength from the Spirit (Eph 3:16–19). The believer must have this love in one’s heart, and then Christ’s love will compel that person to overcome. The love of Christ controls those who have concluded that because Jesus died then they die to themselves and live for the one who died and rose for them (2 Cor 5:14–15). The Holy Spirit produces love as the first of the fruits of the Spirit (Gal 5:22–23). True believers increase in that love by abiding in Christ’s words (John 14:21–24).
A New Life with a New Perspective
Christians can see through desires and temptations to observe that temporary pleasure is evil, guilt, regret, resentment, and fear. The grass is never greener on the other side of sin, and temptation is a mirage and sin is enslavement (Rom 6:15–23). The apostle Paul explained, “For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. But what fruit were you getting at that time from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death” (Rom 6:20–21). What do people gain from sin? What is left after temporary pleasure? Slavery is on the other side of giving into sin. Jesus proclaimed, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin” (John 8:34). However, Jesus revealed, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:31–32).
God’s grace reminds believers to deny worldly lusts (Titus 2:11–12). The Christian must see God’s grace as more than salvation from past sins, but also as salvation from giving into future temptations. Christ has forgiven the Christian’s past life of sin. Sin may continue to tempt Christians. Why sin again? “What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it?” (Rom 6:1–2). Christians must realize God’s grace in the forgiveness of sins, so that they truly love God (Luke 7:40–43). Jesus’s love by His death controls followers of Christ (2 Cor 5:14–15).
Frequently Asked Questions
A. What about God’s forgiveness and grace? What about if someone stumbles in sin again? Everyone sins and everyone stumbles (Rom 3:23; Jas 3:2). The Christian should feel guilt with godly sorrow and let that godly sorrow help change oneself. Christians should have godly sorrow: “For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death” (2 Cor 7:10). God will forgive everyone if they repent. Jesus taught His followers to forgive when one confesses repentance seven times in a day (Luke 17:3–4). Why? Because Christians are to forgive as God forgives them (Eph 4:32; Col 3:13). What if Christians confess repentance seven times in a day to God? Therefore, as believers walk in the light and confess their sins to the Father, God cleanses them from all sins (1 John 1:7, 9).
B. How can a Christian avoid lewd images and pornography? Starting with the internet, TV, and magazines. Looking and lusting at lewd images, pornography, and erotic writings are the most common source of impurity among Christian men and women. Having the internet is like having a stack of pornographic magazines under one’s bed. The temptation is always there, so one must put to death sin in the flesh. The conviction of not giving in to the impurity of self-stimulate is essential to overcome these temptations in time. Sexual temptations are like the street of the adulterous woman as Solomon instructs not to go near (Prov 7). The internet or television can become the street of the adulterous and strange woman. The Christian man must not let her street end at his house. The Christian woman must not listen to the smooth-talking man.
The Christian must get rid of any saved sexual material. This person should remove of the bad cable channels or remove cable TV altogether. Every home should have an internet filter set on the router to protect children and delay temptations. Regarding internet filters, OpenDNS and CleanBrowsing are free and set on routers. Filter softwares often provide a curfew to restrict certain times of temptation. The Christian must make no provision for the flesh (Rom 13:13–14).
C. What about natural emissions? God has provided ways to cope by managing sexual desires. The Scriptures refer to nocturnal emissions and staying clean (Deut 23:9–14). When Israelite soldiers were single or away from their wives, they were not excused in the circumstances of war to behave in a sexually immoral way by committing adultery, rape, or any other evil. Married men must know how to manage themselves at specific times in their marriage. This natural release is what God has naturally provided. God gave further instructions to Israelite men to live in a way to control themselves (Lev 15:1–17). Women also have a similar natural function, and they have the same task to maintain self-control. No one needs to submit to the world’s ways of addressing these desires by giving into lust and impurity of self-stimulation.
D. What about desires like same-sex attraction? If someone has desires like homosexual desires and other forms of paraphilia, these are lusts and temptations given to people who are not recognizing God, glorifying Him and, or thanking Him (Rom 1:18–23). Without God, sin will dwell in the flesh and take each person captive. These lusts will grow from sexual impurity (Rom 1:24–28). Therefore, they must turn back to God to overcome these unnatural desires and put to death sin by the strength of God’s Spirit. They must recognize that God made each person in one’s specific gender and He made each person in His image. This is true even if someone is born a eunuch (Matt 19:11). Thank God and glorify Him for the various traits of each gender. They must grow and become strong in the natural qualities of one’s God-given sex. If one is born as a male, live as a man, enjoy that life, put away any femininity, and restore natural desires by thanking and glorifying God. If someone was born a female, she must increase her femininity and womanly qualities by putting away masculine habits. She must thank and glorify God. While sin will still tempt everyone, each must listen to Jesus and become committed for the kingdom of heaven (Matt 19:12). God made man and woman become one flesh in marriage, and all desires outside of this are outside of God’s will.
E. How can marriage help a Christian manage one’s desires? God made man and woman to become one flesh (Gen 2:24). God’s design of marriage is why people have sexual desires. A husband and a wife fit together by God’s design. Paul taught, “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband” (1 Cor 7:2). The Holy Spirit permitted, “But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Cor 7:9). Spouses must not withhold marital intimacy (1 Cor 7:1–9). Marital affections are due to each spouse. Paul taught, “The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband” (1 Cor 7:3). He also instructed, “Do not deprive one another” (1 Cor 7:5).
F. How does a biblical respect for marriage help? Just the simple conviction that sex is an act of love meant only for one’s spouse changes how someone directs personal desires. All must honor marriage by honoring the marriage bed even if you are not married. An unmarried person can defile the marriage bed too by having sex outside of marriage just as Jesus taught (Matt 5:32). Defiling the marriage bed is a reference to fornication in Hebrews 13:4, which says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
G. How can a Christian maintain purity when dating and engaged? Paul taught, “But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires” (Rom 13:14). The Christian should only date someone who he or she would marry. When they decide otherwise, then they can end the relationship. Double dates and meeting in public places is the best if not the only way to date to even avoid accusations.
Physical relationships between a man and woman progress. The progression of affection is a part of how God has designed man and woman. Romantic passion usually progresses like this: an arm around the shoulder, holding hands, kissing, passionate kissing, and so forth into petting, undressing, stimulating, and intercourse. Of this progression, when does one quit thinking clearly? Most would point to passionate kissing. At passionate kissing, rational thinking is often thrown away as the couple becomes “love drunk.” Followers of Christ can prevent this progression into sin by avoiding passionate kissing or drawing the line somewhere in the progression toward sin.
Sin tempts some couples when they are alone for even an hour. Sexual desires reach a point of sexual intoxication when one cannot think soberly. This is like trying to talk sense into a drunk. How can someone prevent such sensual drunkenness? Christians must keep from the passion of lust. What triggers sexual passion and intoxication? Believers should decide and know exactly when to stop along the progression. They would be wise to inform one’s date. If a date passes this point, the Christian can separate from that person for some days or weeks for discipline.
H. How must a Christian live with one’s spouse? The husband must love his wife unconditionally as Christ loves the church and God loves each person (Eph 5:28–31; 1 Pet 3:7). He must do this with understanding and without bitterness (Col 3:19; 1 Pet 3:7). Likewise, women must also recognize that God’s ideal for marriage is for a wife to love and respect her husband by humbling herself as is fitting to the Lord (Eph 5:22, 33; Col 3:18; Titus 2:4; 1 Pet 3:1). God gave desires for a spouse within the intimacy of marriage so all desires for others are a perversion of God’s design.
I. How can a Christian couple avoid adultery and better maintain affections within marriage? Paul revealed, “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband” (1 Cor 7:2). Marriage is the purpose of sexual desire. Those who want more romantic gestures besides physical intimacy should comply with God’s instructions for sexual intimacy first. Withholding sex for other things is not biblical. Temptations can arise from not fulfilling marital affections (1 Cor 7:4–7). A successful marriage is based on rendering what is due. Also, obeying Ephesians 5:23–31 by husbands loving wives and wives respectfully submitting to husbands will usually prevent these sexual sins. Now and all the time, “make no provisions for the flesh” (Rom 13:14). Christians are wise not to privately meet with anyone of the opposite sex. Temptations for adultery increase by a lack of attention, affection, and admiration from one’s spouse. A little attention, affection, and admiration from someone else welcome an affair, yet attention, affection, and admiration toward one’s spouse push such temptations away.
The Breath of God 
It is indeed encouraging to hear children of God concerned and desiring to live holy lives in this highly sex charged soceity. Lets keep to the faith the path is narrow but you bet we are on it and we will get home. My love and prayers to all the singles who have set their hearts to liveing sexually pure lives. B.Mut.
I love Christ. Before i got married i find myself having often sex desire and when it comes i go to prostitute and satisfy the desire and after that i will regret it and cry when i go home and this have been going on for years until one day i said to myself that i should settle down i stop this kind of life which i did but still yet that desire still coming and when it comes i will still go to hotel to a prostitute and do the same and i really hate that act after i must have done it. When i begin to go deep into Christianity i then put a stop to at all but still one thing i still find myself doing and that is lust, whenever i see a woman i begin to have this thought of having sex with her and in my mind there is a battle and my humble prayer is that i want to come out of this lust which is drawing me back and i must say that i know how to overcome it by the grace of God. When i devote myself to prayers and set my mind in this things of God i see myself overcoming lust. Maybe God help me and please if there is more thing which i have to know do let me know. Thank you.
God bless you. You are doing good. Keeping thinking about rejecting these sins. Imagine yourself rejecting these temptations. Now, I encourage you make a covenant with your eyes and look away from those women. Think about sharing the gospel with them. See their souls. Rejoice in the victories that God has given you over this already. If you have gone away from prostitutes to addressing lust, then you have been blessed. One day you will this will only be a slight urge and the temptation will always be there but no threat to you. Pray for more and more wisdom (Jas. 1).
Keep praying for forgiveness, because have committed great sins against your wife, your God, and your body.
Thank you very much i think i have found a solution to my fornication problem. I am a very good christian, a sunday school teacher at my church.Fornication has been my problem for sometime and i managed to get over it for about 3 or more years but so how it took me by surprise and now i feel very down and i can feel the spirit of God has left me. Previously i use to preach to my kids and they were all happy the class was very active but since i started sinning my class has become boring and of late i don’t feel like teaching again. I have many female friends i don’t have a girlfriend anyway, I have been helping them with most of their problem because they believe me to be a good christian because I have been helping them out with sins of the flesh but it pains me and hurts me very much that i can’t solve my own problem. I know that the bible says when a demon is cast out of a person and the person becomes clean when the demon goes and finds no one to inhabit he returns to the previous body and when he finds it clean he goes to bring more demons who are more wicked than him to inhabit that body, so i know when i get over these sins and ……there is more brother and i need your help.God bless you
You are not alone among bible teachers and even preachers who have this problem. Be very careful around these sisters in Christ. Treat “younger women as sisters, in all purity” (1 Tim. 5:2). Keep your distance if you must. “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted” (Galatians 6:1).
I don’t have much to add to my article except for my understanding of its application. You and those reading these comments are certainly welcome to contact my email at ScottJon82[at]yahoo.com.
You have my prayer. May God bless you.
Hi, I need your help very badly. I am a married woman having an extra marital affair. which i know us wrong and i do know the Lord, but yet how hard i try i cant get over it. I have tried all the possible ways of not getting into it But the more i try to more i am into it. I am losing hope. Thoughts like i don’t know God will ever accept me or not though i know the Lord is loving and compassionate but i have taken the Lords love for granted. I think i am sick please help.
Don’t lose hope. There is always hope in Christ. I can only speak to you as a consultant. Please, get your physician to refer you to a counselor preferably a Christian, who does cognitive behavior therapy. That person should be able to help you to have success in a matter of 2-3 months. Seriously consider getting counseling for you and your husband. I am not recommending that you tell him or not tell him.
I hope that you hate this sin. “Abhor what is evil” (Rom. 12:9). You can repent, but getting over the temptation may not be possible. You have to overcome the temptation though it may always be there. Right now you are enslaved to this sin (Rom. 6:11-12). Yet, you can be forgiven by God (1 John 1:7, 9). Feeling guilty is a good thing for you to motivate you.
This sin only hurts you. The relationship is not worth it. You have to break the relationship. Break the relationship more than once. Do not do so personally and in private. Do this in a public place, in writing, or over the phone. Get away from this person completely. It doesn’t matter the consequences of breaking the relationship, because everything else is worse. Resign your job. Cut off friendships, and end this. Write down what appeals to you about this relationship and what is inside of you moves you to this sin. Use this to develop a plan to overcome this. Get to church, pray, read, and study with others. Fill yourself with God in Christ.
May God help you. You have my prayer and so does your husband.
i’m a boy of 21years having passion for Gods work but i keep on back sliding each time i want to devote myself due to fornication and friends and also how do i stop with my girlfriend without hurting her
Make no provision for the flesh (Rom. 13:14).
If your friends are a bad influence, you need to go your own way. If your friends follow, then good. If not, then they are no friends of Christ. “Do not be deceived: ‘Evil company corrupts good habits'” (1 Cor. 15:33).
Your girlfriend needs to know that what you do is for good of both of you. Again, you go after Christ and put away these sins. If she comes to Christ, then good. May be you can then consider marrying her. Otherwise, you need to break the relationship. It maybe unavoidable that she is hurt. Just let it be known that you are trying to get your life right.
You have my prayer. God bless.
I just hate the fact that SEX has to be a weakness to me, and it has cost me to lose that place where I once was in GOD. I would go months without it and find myself indulging right back into having sex, and it was good but the guilt that I felt made me say it wasn’t worth it. I know God is tired of hearing me repent over it, but I need some HELP to know how fight the temptation. I will have dreams about having sex with someone I don’t even know, that’s how bad temptation comes to me.
May God bless you that you may burn those bridges that lead you into this sin.
I thank God dat i came across dis article wen i really needed help. I’m a 23 yr old christian who luvs d Lord very much and also active in church, i hv been struggling wit fornication 4 some time now. Der is dis lady i hv been dating 4 de past 4yrs, we luv each other very well, we hv de intention of getin married at d right time. Our problem is dat we always find ourselves kissing passionately which once resulted in intercourse,in which we both deeply regreted and confessed of our sins, so we avoided close contact 4 a yr but we recently found ourselves kissing passionately again, hw long i’m i goin 2 keep on asking 4 4giveness of sins. Pls i need d hand of God in dis. I once planned of calling off d relationship but i knew it was gonna affect d lady reali bad so i thought otherwise.
God’s answer is in His Word. Avoid fornication and get married. I see Paul’s words applying to you. “Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband” (1 Cor. 7:2). “but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Cor. 7:9). In light of these words, seek marriage and if there are any difficulties get an elder Christian man like your father to help you pursue marriage and remove any cultural or family restraints in the way. Until you are married fight the temptation to kiss and in so doing you will present any further sin (Rom. 12:13).
If you don’t intend to marry her, then why have a relationship with her especially when she tempts you. I think it wise to stop the relationship if you do not plan to marry.
If you repent as you have, then you are forgiven when you walk in the light and confess your sins to the Father (1 John 1:7, 9). “Ephesians 4:32 says to forgive as God forgives us. We can repent 7 times in a day as seen by that we are to forgive the one who sin against us 7 times in a day (Luke 17:3-4, cf. Matt. 18:21ff).”
I think that I am missing some information to better help you. You have my prayer. God bless.
Scott, let me just start off by saying this is encouraging. Im a 24 year old male. I have been involved with pornography for about 13 years. Maybe longer. I remember when I first started watching it around 9-11. I am now stuck. My sin has cost me more things then I can imagine. I gave my life to the Lord about 3 years ago, He has changed my life so much, but I cannot seem to shake this sin. My sin has dragged me even deeper to talking with strangers in chat rooms and such, sexually. I have sinned so much this past week. More then I can remember me ever doing. I feel like God has given me over to my sin. I’m even doubting my salvation. I feel like God is so distant and wants nothing to do with me. I feel like a complete failure. I just want out bro. I want out so bad. I can relate to Paul in Rom 7 so much. I still talk to God but its hard because I feel seperated from Him. I just want to be back in fellowship with Him. I wanna spend my eternity with Him. I need so much prayer and help. Any words of advice and encouragement will help. Be straight with me, though. If it’s to late to come back to Christ, let me know…..
I’ve heard your story many times. The answer to Romans 7 is in Romans 8, which is to set your mind on the Spirit. I can see that you have done this to some extent. Romans 7 describes the man who delighted in the law in the inner man. That’s not enough. Ephesians 5:18 describes this indwelling of the Spirit as being filled with the Spirit rather than debauchery (Eph. 3:16ff, Rom. 8:9-11). Fill yourself with what the Spirit has revealed in the Scriptures. Read. Read what you interested in and think on these things. Read about resisting temptation and find where that leads you. Hope helps you to purify yourself (1 John 3:3, cf. 3:1-2).
Stop the chatting. Set up a filter with a difficult password that you do not have ready access to. Set it against chatting along with everything else. You have to make no provision for the flesh. When you are bored enough to go searching for this stuff, then are probably tired. Stop and go to sleep. By the way, get rid of any pornography that you have stored. Consider getting someone to hold you accountable and confess to them (Jas. 5). Accountability and confession is good, but people often get around this. This may not end your sin, but it could lead to what does. Ask for prayers.
Realize what your temptation really is. You are annoyed, pestered, and tempted by your lusts. You give into them and it gets worse. You don’t give in, but it gets harder for a while and then it will weakened into a mild pathetic desire.
Being a Christian does not end temptation or make one able not to give in. Do make sure that your salvation is according to the Scriptures? You believe. Did you confess your faith (Matt. 10:32, Rom. 10:9-10)? Repent means setting your mind against wickedness (Luke 13:3, Acts 2:38, 3:19, 1 Pet. 3:9). Lastly and often rejected, consider Mark 16:16, Matthew 28:18-20, Acts 2:38, 8:26ff, 10:43-48, 22:16, 1 Peter 3:21, Romans 6:1-7, Colossians 2:11-14. This is the moment of salvation.
I’ll pray for you. Whatever you find in Christ that helps you then use that to help others. If something is missing in this article, please come inform me. God bless.
Let me add. As long as you are walking in the light, you are cleansed of all your sins (1 John 1:9). If you are practicing this sin, then you are walking in darkness and have no forgiveness (1 John 1:6-2:6). This is the extent of God’s grace. If this puts fear in you, then use it to motivate you to keep striving to completely repent.
Ephesians 4:32 says to forgive as God forgives us. We can repent 7 times in a day as seen by that we are to forgive the one who sin against us 7 times in a day (Luke 17:3-4, cf. Matt. 18:21ff). Yet, don’t think that this justifies sinning to claim repentance. Then, the heart has not changed.
Scott, would you mind clarifying what exactly you mean by the phrase, “practicing sin”? If someone is daily, or say, every other day, struggling with such a sin, yet trying to get out of it with no luck, are they in the darkness; without God’s grace?
I ask for clarification because of how you state that God’s grace has an extent. The God I know has Grace that knows no bounds – I know that His death on the cross was all-encompassing of every sin of every man for all time and that He has cast our sins as far as the east is from the west. The entry from Scripture I would cite would be Romans 5:20, which proclaims, “Now the law came in to increase the trespass, but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more…”
The picture you paint of a person being feared into striving for complete forgiveness in order to achieve God’s grace sounds a lot like a works-based relationship with God. There’s this song I’ve listened to where the chorus goes: “There is no guilt here, there is no shame, no pointing fingers, there is no blame. What happened yesterday, has disappeared, the dirt has washed away, and now it’s clear: there’s only Grace, there’s only Love, there’s only Mercy and believing it’s enough.” God’s grace is enough. Enough that even if one of His children is neck-deep in a struggle with sin, God’s grace is enough, it is always there. It has no extent, no limit – it is available always and forever for those that are struggling to get back on track, desiring to be like Him in all ways.
I refer to the practicing of sin in Gal. 5:21 and other scriptures. We practicing something by continually doing it without repentance. Firth John 1 shows the extent of forgiveness (a form of grace), which we have by walking in the light and confessing our sins to the Father. God’s grace, His forgiveness, does not cover the practicing of sin as seen in Gal. 5:21, “that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God”. This is clear. We see the extent of God’s grace in Luke 17:4 that as long as we forgive as God forgives us (Eph. 4:32), and thus we are forgiven when we repent.
Romans 5:20 refers to how God’s grace covers all sins as long as we do not practice them and we repent. Romans 6:1-2a, “What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? Certainly not!” How can grace abound by sin when Paul revealed in Romans 3:8. “And why not say, ‘Let us do evil that good may come’? — as we are slanderously reported and as some affirm that we say. Their condemnation is just” (Rom. 3:8).
It is not works salvation to be saved by God. Obeying God is not earning salvation. Salvation is not earned by making up for sins. Faith is completed by works (Jas. 2:24). Read James 2. Note the obedience of faith necessary in Romans 1:5 and 16:26.
Hi Scott, thanks for your reply – I was wondering if I was misreading what you said and I see that it was so. I understand your meaning when you refer to it as unrepentant sin, that makes complete sense. Thanks for clarifying, I was looking at your comment without thinking that you might be referencing sin unrepentant – but of course is such sin that is struggled with is repented of each time in true sincerity, then it truly is forgiven each and every time, no?
Thanks again for clearing that up.
Thank you very much for this write up. I felt terribly bad yesterday night(dec 25th)… Even after I my mum found out I was into sexual immorality and spoke to me about it,that stil didn’t deter me.. It wasn’t until yesterday night that I saw a guy I have a crush on.. I never yeilded to his sexual pleas but yesterday he said so many things making me feel secure and I yielded. But after that,he just stopped chatting with me and deleted me. That was when it hit me hard.. I started crying and asked for forgiveness. Woke mama up and told her I was sorry.. Didn’t knw how to search d bible to know more so I googled ‘how to prevent fornication’. Your write up is wonderful. I feel relived and happy… I realise God loves me and only wanted me to learn. I’m terribly sorry about the life I lived in the past. I love God n I want him to live in me. Would also love you to notify me and things I can read over the internent to kill the flesh. I want to start over. Thanks
May God bless you in overcoming this. When someone live in world submitting to the flesh, the world around us is doing much the same. They don’t care much about you. They serve their flesh, their eyes, and their pride (1 John 2:15-17). These are the things of the world. These will disappear. I have something I must add to this article, which is hope. The things of the world will pass away and we can have no hope in them. In worldly things, we find destruction. Read 1 John 3:3 and then refer back to 1 John 3:1-2. Because of hope, we purify ourselves (cf. 1 Pet. 1:3ff, 13ff, 22ff). When we hope in better things, then we live in joy. May God bless you. I will pray for you now. Be strong and remember these scriptures here.
I am a young teenager and I can not seem to stop masturbating. I know it is wrong and I am a fairly goo Christian but the oddest reference seems to turn me on, I’m so lost. It is my biggest problem, but the teachers at my public school seem to think that’s “natural” and should be embraced; then again my school is the type that gives out condoms…I’m so confused.
First of all, I must consult you to talk to a mature Christian woman about this. Tell her that you are being tempted and you are struggling. Maybe you can open up more to her. There is another more “natural” way for release, which comes in the sleep for both men and women as noted in this article. Now is the time when you have to learn to control your thoughts. This is what a lot adolescents are learning to do. Disconnect your desires from whoever you directing them toward. Continue to pray and to read the scriptures. God bless. I pray that God gives you strength.