Jesus defined adultery to include those who divorce and remarry for any reason other than fornication. Fornication is extra-marital sex. Christ also included those who marry the divorced person as also committing adultery. Jesus declared in Mark 10:11–12, “If one divorced his woman and married another, he is committing adultery against her. And if a woman divorced her man and married another, she is committing adultery.” Note that the divorce and the remarriage are in the past tense while adultery is in the present active tense in Mark 10 as is also in Matthew 19. This shows the active state of adultery when one has married another for another reason other than fornication. Notice that marrying another is adultery against the previous spouse, and that adultery is a transgression against a spouse.
Jesus declared in Luke 16:18, “Everyone divorcing his woman and marrying another is committing adultery; and everyone marrying her who has been divorced from a man is committing adultery.” In Luke 16:18, Jesus teaches that adultery includes when a person divorces and marries another. The adultery begins with the new marriage and continues in an adulterous marriage.
One can only divorce and remarry for one exception. Jesus mentioned that one exception when Jesus declared in Matthew 19:9, “And I say to you that if one divorced his woman, not upon extramarital sex, and married another, he is committing adultery, and he who married the divorced is committing adultery.” If a person finds that one’s spouse was fornicating with another person before or during the marriage, that person is able to divorce and marry another by giving a note for the reason of the divorce being fornication (Matt 5:31–32).
In Matthew 5:32, Jesus said that the spouse divorcing another for any other reason than fornication is guilty of causing adultery when the other spouse marries another. The one divorcing must divorce by “a word of fornication” that is a note given to the adulterous spouse. Jesus proclaimed in Matthew 5:31–32,
And it was said that if one divorced his woman, he must give her a notice of divorce. And I say to you that if one divorced his woman without a word of fornication, he makes her to commit adultery, and if one married the divorced, he is committing adultery.
These previous quotes of Jesus contain precise grammar with the original tenses of each verb and participle. The Greek word apoluo, which is often translated “divorced” or “put away,” occurs 69 times in the New Testament, and yet the word is only used 14 times to refer to divorce and 55 times to mean “put away,” “release,” and even “forgive” by releasing sins (Luke 6:37ff). The Greek apoluo includes two parts. These are the prefix apo meaning “from” and the verb luo meaning “loose.” Apoluo expresses the idea to release or lose someone or something.
Jesus apparently defined adultery to include divorce and remarriage, and He taught that adultery is against the divorced spouse (Mark 10:11–12). One’s eligibility to remarry is dependent upon whether a person is committing adultery by remarrying. This requires repentance as Christ calls sinners to do (Luke 5:32; 13:3, 5). Repentance is essential for the forgiveness of sins (Luke 24:46–47). God will forgive the guilty and once adulterous person after that person has repented, confessed that sin to God, and confessed repentance to the previous spouse (Matt 5:23–24; 18:15–17, 21-22; Luke 17:3–4). Forgiveness requires repentance from adultery. If a person’s remarriage is not adulterous when the previous spouse has married another, then that person’s remarriage is not adulterous when the previous spouse has died (Mark 10:11; Rom 7:3; 1 Cor 7:39).
In conclusion, Jesus is very clear that those who have divorced and remarried another except for fornication or have married the divorced, are presently committing adultery against the previous unmarried spouse. Adultery defiles the marriage bed (Heb 13:4). Jesus’ instructions about divorce, remarriage, and adultery are just as much in effect as all of His instructions are in effect before and after people are aware of them (Matt 19:11). As Jesus proclaimed, “What therefore God has joined together, let no one separate” (Mark 10:9).
The Breath of God 
I think if you would read Mathew 18 , Chapter 19 , maybe it would explain marriage and divorce. It is a confusing subject , especially with todays problems and situations couples get into . But , turn to your Bible not man for your answers.
True. That is good advice.
Thank you for your reponse and for addressing this much negelected topic in the Church.
I was also wondering your opinion based on the scriptures, of a specific situation:
I have a family member who is also a member of the local congregation I worship with. This particular relative is entering an adulterous relationship due to their unlawful divorce. My question is this: Would you agree that my relationship with this family member as a brother in Christ takes precedence over my relationship with them as an “earthly” family member? To be more specific, wouldn’t it be rational to disfellowship from this person in the capacity of the Church assembly as well as in personal matters?
I know these situations are painful when they occur within families and the division due to the sin causes hurt feeling sometimes. But I don’t feel I can tolerate the sin just because it is a family member?
I find that this is your decision whether to withdraw from a family member. I strongly encourage you to speak to them if you can (Gal. 6:1, Luke 17:4). You must withdraw in regards to spiritual matters until they repent. There may be much that could from withdrawing from them. I also withdrew from a family member, who was a member of the Church, because of this sin. Even though Jesus instructed withdrawal in Matthew 18:15-17, he was still in some relationship with His brothers when they did not believe (John 7).
At the same time, if one’s spouse or parent is disassociated for practicing a sin, then there are still family responsibilities there that we are still commanded to keep (1 Cor. 7:1-15, Eph. 6:1-3, 1 Pet. 3:1-6). Yet, spiritually, I find that we must withdraw from them (1 Cor. 5), but also look to show your love to them (2 Cor. 2:3-11).
Not knowing your situation, if you think that withdrawing would help them to seriously consider, then I would do it. God bless.
Revised. Thanks to comments regarding further clarity.
As a member of the Lord’s church, if a local congregation had couples who remained in un-scriptural marriages, and you were witnessing newly married couples in the church who had no grounds for re-marriage and the elders/overseers were not addressing this, would you be able to still worship with that congregation?
I recall 1 Corinthian 5 and the immoral man at the church of Corinth–would this not be similar situations? And if so, do you believe it is acceptable to remain in fellowship with that local congregation?
Thank you for addressing this topic. –In Christian Love
Hi James,
I absolutely agree with your application of 1 Corinthians 5. Those divorcing and remarrying are more than what we call “unscriptural”. This is adultery! It is treachery! For an eldership to overlook sin rather than oversee righteousness is disturbing and saddening. The eldership is practicing a sin by allowing some others to openly practice adultery. Would that not mean that these being married had already committed adultery? I would have to withdraw from assembling with not just the couples but also the elders. Yet, I would try to keep communication open as Paul did with the Corinthians whose leadership and members were keeping company with the man that was fornicating. I would not however withdraw from everyone at the congregation. I just don’t know what their objectives are. I think of the churches of Asia in Revelation, who needed to repent and yet they had members among them recognized by Christ. Sometimes that is hard to fathom such a situation, but it can exist.
May God bless you, and may His providence show that congregation their need for repentance.
I know of a couple who went for marriage reconciliation. In this case the husband desired to preserve the union while the wife adamantly opposed reconciliation at all costs. Needless to say the marriage bogged down and divorce ensued. Interestingly, the group who furnished the pastor for the so-called reconciliation sessions has a history of taking a strong stand against divorce & remarriage so it is surprising to say the least that no one in that circle seemed particularly burdened to save the beleaguered marriage despite the husband’s desire to do so and there was a young daughter involved. Such hypocrisy destroyed the man and his testimony. He left that church setting and never again attempted to join any other group. The pastor who served as a mediator for these so-called conciliation sessions excused himself early on just when the husband saw hope and put someone fresh out of seminary in charge who bungled the process by always siding with the wife. In later years the wife from that failed endeavor turned around and married the pastor’s son, no, not the son from the 2nd minister but the son from the first, the same one who suddenly had to excuse himself as mediator for “health” reasons. In the end the wife got just what she wanted most, a divorce from her husband simply because she didn’t want to be married to him anymore and she got a lot of love and acceptance from the group and as a bonus the man she’d wanted all along (though she’d been married at the time) The divorce obviously freed her to remarry and have her heart’s desire; the son of the counseling minister, the one she must have set her cap for early on perhaps during the separation period. Yes, she ended up as the minister’s daughter-in-law, the one supposedly charged with saving marriages and preventing divorces in the 1st place. What a happy ending.
Sad and strange story. May God bless the husband and his daughter.
What did Jesus say to the woman caught in the act of adultery? He didn’t preach to her, condemn her. In fact, He said “I don’t condemn you.” He did tell her to quite sinning, but what power is there to cease sinning in people’s lives? An encounter with Jesus, the power of the Holy Spirit. If you are going to teach Jesus words that condemn a culture of self-idolizing, marriage-discounting, hypocrites (as Jesus was doing in that context) in front of your church, the Body of Christ, it would be hurtful if you did not give them an encounter with Jesus, and His words to the adulterous woman. Jesus desires no one of His flock to despair. John says in his first letter, “for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart” (1 John 3:20). If there is no grace or freedom in the delivery of the Word, than you make yourself no better than a Pharisee or one of the Judaizers.
All I am saying is that you must be careful. Confronting sin is crucial, but so is the cross which pays for our sin, and the Spirit who gives life. Our preaching should be live giving, not hope-stealing.
Again, Jesus did not speak about divorce and remarriage openly as He did to the adulterous woman. Jesus did say, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.” Rather many go away sorrowful when they do not think that they can repent. There is no lack of grace here or Pharisee-ism. I just translated the words of Christ, which many have overlooked. Many left from following Jesus for His words (John 6:53ff).
This whole site teaches the gospel of the grace of Christ.
Take care.
Question – My uncle cheated on my aunt and he divorced her to be with the new woman. She still loved him and it wasn’t her choice to divorce him. “Those, who are divorced or are married to the divorced, are presently committing adultery.” So essentially, my aunt is committing adultery even though she hasn’t done anything wrong? And if she decides to be with someone else, that person is also an adulterer?
What did Jesus say?
Looking over this. According to Jesus, your aunt can remarry and not be committing adultery. Forgive the late reply.
But you didn’t say anything about repentance and the current marriage. You just wrote about judgment. But perfect loves cast out fear (of judgment). If you preached how you wrote, studies show that about 60% of your congregation would get up and walk out {remarried people + children of remarried} because what you said is offensive. and I know as well as anyone that the gospel is offensive and God hates divorce. But there has to be teaching “seasoned with salt” so that there is grace. Your post, as written left no hope, just condemnation.
No condemnation here, just some brotherly admonishment.
By way of encouragement, your exegesis is correct, I believe.
I quoted from Jesus and you say that is condemnation without hope. The hope is in Christ His words. There hope is in walking in the light for the forgiveness of sins (1 John 1:7). The hope is in God’s institution of marriage. Are not Jesus words seasoned as much as possible? The congregation that I speak to does not walk out because they have already accepted Jesus’ words on this matter. I preach this teaching and I think I certainly do season it well to be received, and yet I don’t think that I have to. I believe Jesus’ words are seasoned alone.
I know that those remarried with children find this hard, but all I can do is preach what Jesus said. As for repentance, I must refer to John the Baptist’s approach to Herod. What if Herod had children with his brother’s wife? What if the man in 1 Corinthians 5 had children with his father’s wife? Should they have to separate? What about those poor children and their parents? Of course, I also think about those who separated from their wives and children in Ezra. What should Herod have done? What did the man in 1 Corinthians 5 do?
This is where legalism gets in the way of the Truth. You take what you think is a rule and twist it to create a reason and a conclusion that was not what was intended.
My Dad is divorced from his first wife (for “unscriptural” reasons based on your understanding) and became and is still a Christian in the Church of Christ. He married my Mom and they produced my two brothers and me. My Dad did not become a Christian until after we were born. My two brothers are still coC and my Mom and Dad are strong members of the coC (I am not). I’m guessing that you would say that me and my brothers are illegitimate since my Dad apparently committed adultery with my Mom even though they were legally married
You really need to think about what you say. Lots of people are effected by judgements such as yours.
NT Christians are under grace and not law. The principle of grace would make my brothers and me legitimate. The principle of law would not. You are obviously still under law and not a proponent of grace.
Very concerning!
I present the words of Christ, and you are offended. You infer legalism as though I have judged your parents. My parents are divorced and remarried. I could also make an emotional plea. I’d rather listen to Christ. My love for my parents and others is no more void than Jesus’ love when He said these things. When Jesus said this, there were certainly those then who would have been offended being those who would not repent.
Following Jesus’ words on divorce and remarriage, He said, “All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given” (Matthew 19:11).
As for grace and law, why should we judge the words of Christ anymore than people? Should I disregard Jesus’ words and claim them as “law” without the hope of grace? What would you say is wrong with “the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus” (Rom. 8:2, cf. 8:5-6)? Certainly you have words of Christ regarding grace in mind, what are those? What do you refer to about remaining in a marriage after divorce? I’m willing to listen and consider all that you present from Christ and His Spirit. If you think that I’m closed on this subject, I am not. How does someone marry after divorce committing adultery and yet repent remaining in that marriage? I believe repentance be the subject regarding such marriages.
May God bless us in the study of His Word.
So, the question is, how would you preach this concept?
This is how I would preach this. The last paragraph would be sum of it. What are your thoughts?