GOD'S BREATH PUBLICATONS

Flying Teeth and Loose Talk

By Michael K. Farrar, O.D.

© October 15, 2003

The math teacher stood before the eighth grade class expounding the skills needed to find the quotient of the problem facing them. He eloquently described what steps should be taken to acquire an answer, and then it happened. Like a bat out of hell, his false teeth shot out of his mouth. Being of sound mind and quick reflexes, his dominant right hand flew up with the speed of a Kung Fu master and snatched the teeth in midair. He replaced his teeth quickly as he gazed at the dropped jaws of the entire eighth grade class. “Happens sometimes.” he stated calmly, as he flipped his hand down jerking the saliva deposited on them by the false teeth. The wet droplets of body fluid flew through the air and landed on the young boy's face in the front row. Soft comments of “gross” could be heard under the breath of several young people. My son who was present in this particular class told this true story to me. Luckily, he wasn't sitting in the front row, but I would say "gross" was an appropriate response for witnessing such a demonstration.

I share this story with you to illustrate something of the nature of the often‑overlooked and swept‑under‑the‑rug sin of gossiping. Just like the false teeth that belonged in the teacher's mouth, words that should not be spoken often leave our lips to create all sorts of poisonous damage and trauma. Most of the time pastors, evangelists and Sunday school teachers address the "BIG" sins of lying, stealing, fornication, adultery, etc. but gloss over the more pervasive and sometimes subtle sins like gossip. Gossip can be defined as the sharing of information about a person or situation in an inappropriate manner, for inappropriate reasons or at an inappropriate time.

We all know obvious gossip, those lies told about people which distort their actions or are fabrications of what they said or how they feel. God speaks against spreading lies about individuals. In Leviticus 19:16 He says, “Do not go about spreading slander among your people.” He also speaks out against it in Psalms 101:5 where it says, “Whoever slanders his neighbor in secret, him will I put to silence.” We are also commanded not to “bear false witness.” Romans 1:28‑32 lists all sorts of sins that God abhors and among them is gossip. So we are committing a sin when we spread lies about other people. Sometimes we spread lies and therefore gossip when we share information that we have no first hand knowledge. We fail to check the veracity of the information before we speak. We claim to be innocent because we didn't know it wasn’t true, we just repeated what we heard. In such situations we have still committed the sin of gossip because we have communicated information that is not true. We must always evaluate the words we speak about other people, not only if they are true or not, but also whether they should be spoken at all.

Often we feel that gossip is only the spreading of lies about people but this is not always the case. Sometimes true facts can become gossip when they are shared with the wrong people, at the wrong time or with the wrong motives. When we have information that we know to be true, there must be the exercise of wisdom to determine whether the information is best left unsaid. There was a saying often stated during World War II, “Loose Lips Sink Ships” which referred to the dissemination of war information inappropriately which when acquired by the enemy caused the loss of lives. Similar losses are experienced emotionally and spiritually when we are loose with our lips about information concerning others.

We sometimes share information with the wrong people who have no business being made aware of such facts. Gossip spreads worse then proliferating guppies and rabbits, multiplying at exponential proportions. Not only can this information spread rapidly, the facts frequently distort upon themselves as they morph into some new creature thereby giving birth to lies. Now the ugly deformed head of gossip arises and begins to devour the reputation and emotional condition of people damaging relationships and God's Kingdom. Sometimes we share true information at the wrong time. Patience is a virtue and we often lack such a trait. The burden of possessing secret information about someone burns in our minds and we fall into the sin of gossip when we blurt it out as soon as we do. True information about individuals should be guarded as a treasure, a piece of that person's intimate life, and always carefully and delicately offered only to those who need to know at the appropriate time.

Possibly you can honestly say you don't gossip, but do you listen to gossip? You are just as guilty if you do. This is a situation where we commit the sin of omission, committing a sin not because we did something wrong, but because we didn't do something right. James 4:17 speaks of this when it says, “Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.” This is often hard for us to do because it is a form of confrontation. We have to interrupt the person we are listening to, to tell them not only that they are gossiping, but also that we don't want to listen to what they have to say. This can seem rude and unthoughtful, but listening to words of gossip is not only unthoughtful towards the person the discussion is about; it is a sin as well. Several scriptures address this issue. Proverbs 17:4 says, “A wicked man listens to evil lips; a liar pays attention to a malicious tongue.” Later in Proverbs 20:19 it says, “A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.”

I must confess while I strive to be good at not spreading gossip, I often fail in the area of refusing to listen to words about others which I feel fall into the realm of gossip. We all need to work in this area of tactfully and lovingly withdrawing ourselves from conversations that lead down the path of gossip. Listening to gossip is condoning the action itself and is not without consequences to all those concerned.

Gossip can also occur when we are wounded by another or are concerned about their actions. Rather than approaching the person who wronged us we feel compelled to discuss the matter with anyone who crosses our path. If we have an issue with someone, rather than discussing it with any Tom, Dick, Harry or Sue, we need to approach the person and deal with them personally. Matthew 18:15 instructs us in this when it says, “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.” Galatians 6:1 wisely informs us that this type of confrontation is to be done gently and with love so that if they have sinned they will return to fellowship with us. It may also facilitate restoration of fellowship with others and even the Lord. Too often we claim to be seeking counsel when really we just want to vent information to those around us. We have no intention of trying to remedy the situation; we just want to talk to anyone other than the person we have a conflict with.

The words of the Lord Jesus Christ about what we say to others carry great weight. In Matthew 12:36‑37 Jesus states, “But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” Numerous scriptures proclaim the importance of taking care with what flies from our mouths. Ephesians 4:29 commands us, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” James 1:26 gives us perspective when it states, “If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.”