How to Prevent and Overcome Sexual Sins (Revised 2014)

Jesus Christ has the answer for those struggling with sexual sins, “one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin” (Heb 4:15). God’s will is for your holiness, your sanctification, and abstinence from sexual immorality. God wants you to know how to possess your own body in holiness and honor, and to not be inflamed with lust (1 Thess 4:3-5). Christ can help you with every sinful and addictive behavior. His words are freely provided in the Bible.

How to Overcome Sexual Sin

Even in a life wrapped in prayers and scripture reading, many have found themselves enslaved to a behavior that they do not want and even despise. While some Christians may not struggle with sexual temptations as though they have a low desire or fulfilling marriages, many struggle with uncontrolled sexual desires. Urging someone to read more, be saved, go to church, and stop sinning are excellent things to do, but sometimes, believers can still miss how to overcome certain temptations.

Facing sexual temptations is still thought inappropriate to openly address in some churches, but teaching on this subject is needed as seen by sexual immorality facing Christ from the first century unto today (1 Cor 5-7). The man who can honestly say that he has never been tempted to lust after a woman is rare. Just as rare is the woman who can say that she has not been tempted to romantically fantasize about man.

There is not any particular person or generation to blame. Christians must be accountable for themselves and each other. Yes, it would have been nice to have avoided any exposure or abuse to such sins. Still, we must hold ourselves responsible.

What is sexually immoral? Sadly, many justify sexual sins and irrationally explain away the definition of sexual immorality. Yet, Christians need to have a clear awareness and strong conviction, so that we abhor this evil (Rom 12:9). Jesus has a very clear definition of sexual immorality. All sexual immorality is behavior outside of the marriage between one man and one woman. The definition of fornication is from the Greek word porneia. This behavior is all sexual intercourse outside of marriage between one man and one woman (Mark 10:6-7, cf. 1 Cor 6:16, Eph 5:31, Heb 13:4).

Jesus openly used the definition of fornication according to the Law of Moses when Jesus spoke to those who were under Moses’ Law. Within the Law of Moses, immoral sexual behavior consists of adultery, extra-marital sex, premarital sex, incest, rape (pedophilia), sex during menstruation, homosexuality, bestiality, prostitution, and uncovering nakedness (lewdness) (Lev 18, 19:29, 20; Deut 22:5, 22-30).

When Jesus spoke of adulteries, fornications, and lewdness, He called these “evil things” that defile people (Mark 7:20-23). Jesus described adultery that is in the heart as coveting another man’s wife (Matt 5:27-28). Adultery is sex with another person’s spouse. Jesus also said that adultery includes divorcing and marrying another person unless one’s spouse sinned by committing fornication — extramarital sex (Matt 5:32, 19:9, Mark 10:11-12, Luke 16:18, cf. 1 Cor 7:10-11).

Without recognizing, thanking, and glorifying God, people can pervert natural desires into strange lusts (Rom 1:20-28). Jesus did not have to specify what He meant by fornication and lewdness with a descriptive list. Rape, incest, and homosexuality are such forms of sexual immorality outside the natural union of marriage between a man and a woman. Jesus also condemned pedophilia when He opposed the abuse of children and alluded to sexual abuses (Matt 18:7-10, Mark 9:42-50).

Christ also spoke against lewdness, which His Spirit defined to mean to “allure through the lusts of the flesh” (2 Pet 2:18, cf. Luke 17:1, Jas 1:13-14). To cause others to lust through tempting speech, revealing clothing, and nudity is lewdness. Jesus also taught to not look to lust (Matt 5:28). Looking at another person with an inflamed craving and lust is adultery in the heart. Jesus revealed, “And I say to that every person looking at a woman with covetous lust for her has now committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matt 5:28). Remember Jesus’ words that out of the heart proceed evil things like evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, covetousness, and lewdness (Mark 7:20-23).

The Cause: “What is happening to me?!” How can someone become enslaved to a sin that a person does not want to do? If you feel enslaved and feel like you cannot control your sexual behavior, the Bible talks about such enslaved behavior. Sexual immorality is an addictive and compulsion sin.

Sexual immorality is a sin against one’s own body (1 Cor 6:15-20). Many who are trapped in sexual sin or any habitual sin relate to these words, “For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do” (Rom 7:15). Jesus said, “The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Mark 14:38, Matt 26:41). The problem is sin dwelling within one’s flesh, and that person cannot find how to do what is good. The Apostle wrote,

But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. (Rom 7:17-20)

No one can overcome indwelling sin without the indwelling Spirit of God.

See, there is a way of escape for all. The Apostle Paul wrote,

Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. (1 Cor 10:12-13)

O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?” (Rom 7:24).

The Answer: The Spirit of Christ says, “Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh” (Gal 5:16-17). God’s Spirit commands that we be filled with the Spirit (Eph 5:18). This is our choice and our action. Sin and lies have deceived many to think the Spirit dwells in them when they continue to sin.

A Christian must open one’s eyes to see the victories and conquests when walking in the Spirit. They should give attention and reproduce that pattern of living everyday. Therefore, fill your life with Christ, His life, His words, His love, and His commands given to His Apostles and prophets found in the Scriptures (cf. Col 3:16, Eph 3:3-5). These are all from the Spirit of God. Walk in Spirit, and you will have the fruits of the Spirit, which include self-control (Gal 5:22-23). Work diligently to grow in the virtues of your faith (2 Pet 1:5-11). Counter your temptations from sinful desires, cravings, and urges by walking in the Spirit.

To live by the Spirit, a believer must die with Christ, be buried with Him, and be raised with Him. If you do not do this, then you are not regenerated, and your attempts to follow Christ will help you. Those who are of Christ crucify the flesh with its passions and desires (Gal 5:24). You are not saved by grace until God gives you life when He raises you into the newness of life with Christ (Eph 2:4-6, cf. Phil 3:9-10). With an obedient faith, a believer is only made alive with Christ through His resurrection by dying to sin and being buried with Christ in baptism (Rom 6:1-7, Col 2:12-13). Only from baptism is a repentant believer raised into the newness of life. This is the Gospel by which God saves all believers (1 Cor 15:1-4, cf. Rom 1:16). Jesus commanded baptism in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit after He rose from the dead (Matt 28:19, Mark 16:16). This baptism is an immersion in water and Jesus’ name (1 Pet 1:3, 3:21, John 3:5, Titus 3:5, cf. Acts 2:38, 10:47-48, 22:16).

Remember that God’s grace teaches the denying of worldly lusts (Titus 2:11-12). The Christian must see God’s grace as more than salvation from past sins, but also as salvation from giving into future temptations. Christ has previously forgiven you of the sins that now tempt you. Why do them again? “Can we continue in sin that grace may increase? Certainly not!” (Rom 6:1-2a). Christians must see the loving grace that forgives sins, so that they truly love God (Luke 7:40-43). Jesus’ love shown through His death compels His followers to live for Christ (2 Cor 5:14-15).

Therefore, learn to set your mind on the Spirit (Rom 8:5-6). By setting the mind, the Christian must always see through desires and temptations to see that on the other side of temporary pleasure is evil, guilt, regret, devastation, and ruin. This mindset is essential: observe the results of giving into sins at all times and especially before you sin. The grass is never greener on the other side of sin.

A Christian must see that sin is an enslavement (Rom 6:15-23). Listen to Christ’s Spirit, “For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. What fruit did you have then in the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death” (Rom 6:20-21). What do people gain from sin? What is left after temporary pleasure?

Slavery is on the other side of giving into sin. Jesus said, “Most assuredly, I say to you, whoever commits sin is a slave of sin” (John 8:34). For which Jesus said, “And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (John 8:32).

Remember that evil thoughts and imaginations feed the lusts of the flesh. Wherever you are, start disciplining the mind, and be aware that God sees you and He knows your thoughts. You must set your mind on the Spirit and be spiritually aware above the lusts of the flesh. “[Y]ou must put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind” (Eph. 4:22-23). Romans 8:5-6 states,

For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.”

In offering one’s body as a living sacrifice, Romans 12:2 commands, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” You must change your mind and thus your heart (Rom 1:28, 8:7; Eph 2:3, 4:17-24; Phil 3:19, 4:8, Col 1:12, 2:8, 3:1-5ff; 1 Tim 6:5; Titus 1:15, 2:11-12; Jas 1:8, 4:8, 1 Pet 1:13).

Set your mind by Christ’s words and love. When setting the mind on the Spirit, the Spirit dwells in you (Rom 8:9-11). Set the mind upon Christ’s love (John 4:23, Eph 3:16-17, 1 John 4:7-13). Christians are crucified with Christ and alive in Him (2 Cor 5:14-15, Gal 2:20, cf. John 15:13). Christians know the love of Christ by Jesus’ selfless sacrifice (1 John 4:9-10). God dwells within Christians when those believers abide in love, because God is love (1 John 4:16). Thus, the Holy Spirit has poured God’s love into the hearts of Christians (Rom 5:5-8). Only by Christ’s sacrifice can anyone really know love and be compelled by love (John 15:13, 1 John 3:16, cf. 1 John 5:1-3). When God indwells by love, Christians gain their strength from the Spirit (Eph 3:16-19). You must have this love in your heart, and then Christ’s love will compel you to overcome. Love is the first blessing listed among the fruits of the Spirit (Gal 5:22-23). True believers increase in that love by abiding in Christ’s words (John 14:21-24).

James 1:21 declared, “Therefore lay aside all filthiness and overflow of wickedness, and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls” (cf. Col 3:16, Eph 5:18). This is the work of the Spirit to change you through the indwelling of God’s Word (2 Cor 3:18, Rom 8:5-6, 11-13). Therefore, think on those things that are truthful, honorable, just, pure, loving, respectful, virtuous, and praiseworthy (Phil 4:8).

Setting your mind on Christ must include prayer. Jesus told His disciples on the night of His betrayal, “Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matt 26:41, Mark 14:38). Jesus warned His disciples, and yet that night, they all fled when they said that they would not (Mark 14:26-31). As Luke’s Gospel describes, Jesus said, “Pray that you may not enter into temptation” (Luke 22:40, 46). Was Jesus wrong about prayer?! These are not useless words! Would prayer have helped deliver these disciples? Yes, it would. If prayer against temptation was not useful and powerful, why would Jesus have commanded His disciples to pray? What if they would have prayed three times that night? Take an example in this to pray constantly (1 Thess 5:17). Wake up praying against temptation, pray throughout the day, and pray before bed. Pray David’s repentant words in Psalm 51. Pray daily for the rest of your life and do this in setting your mind on the Spirit. Christ taught His followers to pray, “Bring us not into temptation” (Matt 6:13, Luke 11:4).

Set your mind on Christ to make no provision for the flesh to fulfill its lust (Rom 13:13-14). Set up a perimeter in your life and in your mind. God is faithful giving a way to escape for everyone to bear their temptations (1 Cor 10:12-13). Therefore, escape and bear the temptation. “Escape fornication!” (1 Cor 6:18). Escape like Joseph escaped temptation (Gen 39:8-13). Do not stay around temptations. Find a way to stay away from private temptations of secret sins. Many Christians simply miss this point. Even when a Christian sets one’s mind on Christ, that must include avoiding all forms of evil and fleeing from temptations.

Remember Solomon’s warning to not go near the street of the adulterous woman at night (Prov 7). Make no way for private and hidden sins. Romans 13:13-14 states,

“Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts.”

From here, grow in Christ and in His virtues for the rest of your life (2 Pet 1:4-11). This is a war, and Christians must fight the good fight. “[A]bstain from fleshly lusts which war against the soul” (1 Pet 2:12). Lusts are trying to deceive you (Jas 1:14-15). Doing nothing is not going to aid you in overcoming these sins. Remove the temptation to sin. Jesus said in Matthew 18:9, “And if your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out, and cast it from you: it is good for you to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into the hell of fire” (cf. Mark 9:43-48, Matt 19:12).

Jesus did not give into temptation to overcome temptation. Giving into sin will not stop temptations or sin. You must escape and bear temptations. Work diligently to have this mindset always. Remember that when Satan tempted Jesus that He countered the temptation with a better thought from Scripture rather than trying to ignore the temptation (Luke 4, cf. Matt 4). God’s grace is through His Word. Do not think that guilt comes from being tempted. The evil one tempted Jesus. Sinful desires will tempt you, and those urges may not completely go away. Will giving into these help you resist the next temptation (1 Cor 6:18)?

Set your mind to know when you feel strong urges; avoid them and do not give into the urges. Kill the evil desires in the flesh (Gal 5:24, Col 3:5). The temptations can and will eventually diminish. The urges will weaken. Do not be deceived to believe the lie that urges will keep growing and not stop until giving into sin. “Therefore subordinate to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you” (Jas 4:7). The Bible teaches that tempting urges can cease naturally. Knowing the path of sin that “each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire” (Jas 1:14), you can endure the urge without giving into the temptation (1 Cor 10:12-13).

Enduring temptations will make you happy, and the light of a new day will fill your soul more than any worldly pleasure. For “Blessed [happy] is the man who endures temptation” (Jas 1:12, cf. 1:4). Fear God, escape, and then endure with prayer. You are able. You do not have to give into the temptation. Giving into temptations will only make temptations worse and increase sin upon sin (Rom 6:19).

Take up your cross daily and follow Christ (Luke 9:23-26). This writer strongly recommends this weekly aid, “How to Overcome Habitual Sins and Addictions through Christ“. May God bless you for wanting to escape sin.

Questions and Answers (FAQ) 

A. What about God’s forgiveness and grace? What about if we stumble again? Everyone sins and everyone stumbles (Rom 3:23, Jas 3:2). Feel guilty and let it help change you. Have godly sorrow and fear God since “godly sorrow works repentance unto salvation” (2 Cor 7:10). God can forgive you if you repent. Jesus taught us to forgive when one confesses repentance seven times in a day (Luke 17:3-4). Why? Because we are to forgive as God forgives us (Eph 4:32, Col 3:13). What if we confess repentance seven times in a day to God? Therefore, as we walk in the light and confess our sins to the Father, God cleanses us from all sins (1 John 1:7, 9). Let the Word on the heart’s conscience motivate you.

B. How can a Christian Manage one’s desires within marriage? What about other natural emissions? God has provided ways to cope by managing sexual desires. The Scriptures refer to nocturnal emissions and staying clean (Deut 23:9-14). When Israelite soldiers were single or away from their wives, they were not excused in the circumstances of war to behave in a sexually immoral way by committing adultery, rape, or any other evil. Married men must know how to manage themselves at specific times in their marriage. This is what God has naturally provided. God gave further instructions to Israelite men to live with a way to control themselves (Lev 15:1-17). Women also have a similar natural function, and they have the same task to maintain self-control. No one has to submit to the world’s ways of addressing these desires by giving into lust.

C. How does a biblical respect for marriage help? Just the simple conviction that sex is an act of love meant only for your spouse changes how some directs one’s desires. You have to honor marriage by honoring the marriage bed even if you are not married. A single person can defile the marriage bed too. This is clear by the reference to fornication in Hebrews 13:4, which says, “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” Marital intimacy is not to be withheld by either spouse (1 Cor 7:1-9). Marital affections are due to each spouse. “Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband” (1 Cor 7:3). “Do not deprive one another” (1 Cor 7:5). Why? “Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband” (1 Cor 7:2). “[I]f they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Cor 7:9). Husbands and wives are not to deprive their spouses.

D. How must a Christian husband live with his wife? (Greek: thalpo) (1 Pet 3:7, Eph 5:28-29). He must do this with understanding and without bitterness (Col 3:19, 1 Pet 3:7). Likewise, women must also recognize that God’s ideal for marriage is for a wife to love and respect her husband by subordinating as is fitting to the Lord (Eph 5:22, 33, Col 3:18, Titus 2:4, 1 Pet 3:1). God gave desires for a spouse within the intimacy of marriage and all desires for others that are outside of marriage are perversions. This desire of the flesh can only be controlled by using it properly within marital love. This is all vitally important in understanding marriage and honoring the marriage bed.

E. What about unnatural desires? If you have unnatural desires like homosexual desires and other forms of paraphilia, these are lusts and temptations given to people, who are not recognizing the true God, glorifying Him, and thanking Him (Rom 1:18-27). Therefore, recognize that God made you in your specific gender and He made you in His image. This is true even if God has made you a eunuch (Matt 19:11). Thank God and glorify Him for the traits of your gender. Grow and be strong in the natural qualities of your God-given gender. If you are a man, live as a man and enjoy that life and put away any femininity and restore your natural desires. If you are a woman, be feminine and womanly by putting away any masculine tendencies. While you still may be tempted, listen to Jesus and be committed even as a eunuch for the kingdom of heaven’s sake (Matt 19:12). God made man and woman become one flesh in marriage, and all desires outside of this are outside of God’s will.

F. How can a Christian avoid pornography? Starting with the internet, TV, and magazines. Pornography is probably the most common sin of Christian men. Having the internet is like having a stack of pornographic magazines under one’s bed. The temptation is always there. This is like the street of the adulterous woman as Solomon instructs not to go near (Prov. 7). The internet or television can be the street of the adulterous and strange woman. Do not let her street end at your house. Many find it easy to control their hands from exchanging money for pornographic magazines, but struggle to restrain themselves when thinking they are anonymous online. This lewdness is an evil thing, sexually immoral, and for the married, it is adultery in the heart.

Get rid of any saved sexual material. Get rid of the bad cable channels or get rid of cable TV all together. Put the computer in a common room with more than one filter and maybe use accountability software if you want. This is good to protect children. Regarding internet filters, OpenDNS and Family Safety are excellent and free. The Family Safety also provides a curfew to restrict certain times of temptation. Use these to make no provision for the flesh.

G. How can a Christian maintain purity when dating and engaged? Remember “make not provision for the flesh” (Rom. 13:14). Only date someone who you would marry and when you decide otherwise while dating then cease the relationship. Double dates and meeting in public places is the best if not the only way to date, but there is something else that can make it easier. Draw a line to not cross.

Physical relationships between a man and woman progress. The progression of affection is a part of how God has designed man and woman. Romantic passion usually progresses like this: an arm around shoulder, holding hands, kissing, passionate kissing, and so forth into sin. Of this progression, when does one quit thinking clearly? Most would point to passionate kissing. At passionate kissing, rational thinking is often thrown away as the couple becomes “love-drunk”. You can prevent the progression into sin by avoiding passionate kissing.

Some couples are tempted while being alone for even an hour. Sexual desires reach a point of sexual intoxication when one cannot think soberly. Try talking sense into a drunk. How can such sensual drunkenness be prevented? We must keep from the passion of lust. What triggers sexual passion and intoxication? Decide and know exactly when to stop along the progression and let your date know too. If your date passes this point, separate from that person for some time.

H. How Can a Christian better maintain affections within marriage? First Corinthians 7:2 states, “But, because of fornications, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.” Here is an answer to sexual desire. Marriage certainly makes it easier. Now, temptations can arise from not fulfilling marital affections. A successful marriage based on rendering what is due (1 Cor. 7:1ff) and obeying Ephesians 5:23-31 will usually prevent these sexual sins. Now and all the time, “make not provision of the flesh” (Rom 13:14). Do not privately meet with anyone of the opposite sex who is attractive to you or could be. Temptations for adultery increase by lack of attention, affection, and admiration from the other spouse. A little attention, affection, and admiration from someone else welcomes an affair, and a little attention, affection, and admiration toward your spouse pushes such temptations away.

May God bless you all who read this.

About Scott Shifferd Jr.

Minister, church of Christ in Jacksonville, FL. Husband and father of four. Email: ScottJon82[at]
This entry was posted in Christian, Church of Christ and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

588 Responses to How to Prevent and Overcome Sexual Sins (Revised 2014)

  1. kaygee says:

    Hi sir , I am a young Christian and I have 2 lady friend and one of them I always get sexual desire for… I really like her and she do like me too……. So what should I do to escape??


    • Hello brother,

      First, work on your heart. Such lusts come from the heart (Matt 15:18–20). Be compelled by the love of Christ. This comes from the heart, and this must grow and overcome your life and thoughts. Focus on your faith coming from your strongest convictions of love with virtuous emotions and a convicted conscience. Thus, you must abhor evil (Rom 12:9). Set your mind on Christ means setting your hearts, imaginations, and thoughts upon Christ (Rom 8:5–6). This is the only way to overcome impulsive desires (Rom 7:14–25).

      Second, look at these women as your sisters (1 Tim 5:2). If they are dressing in a tempting way, you may need to avoid them until they are mature enough to realize what they are doing.

      Third, escape and bear your desires. God is faithful and you are able to escape (1 Cor 10:12–13). Giving into lust will not cause lust to end. Therefore, your only option is to bear your urges and soon you will grow in strength and resistance through God’s Word abiding in your heart.

      God bless you for your needed question. You have my prayer.


  2. sherin mathew says:

    respected sir!!!
    i am sherin mathew a student had a sex with a girl that to before marriage which i feel guilty and i did a sin by having sex with her to whom i cant marry!!! so plz kindly help me to come out of this sin plz plz its humble request to help me plz


    • Brother Sherin,

      We must die and be buried with Christ to be raised up with Him into the newness of life (Rom 6; Col 2:12-13, 3:1ff). Start and end here. This is the basis of the saving Gospel and our transformation (1 Cor 15:1-4).

      To overcome this sin, you will need three things: (1) motivation, (2) prevention, and (3) endurance. You can remember the initials as “My Plan to Escape”.

      1) The motivation is to be compelled and controlled by the love of Christ (2 Cor 5:14-15). Reading, prayer, and study with others will help you. Set your mind on Christ (Rom 8:5-6, 12:2).

      2) The prevention from sinning includes you making no provision for the flesh (Rom 13:13-14). We must avoid every form of evil. Bad company corrupts good morals (1 Cor 15:33). Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Cor 6:14). Can you stay in the company of this girl? You must separate yourself from her, the temptation, and not be corrupted.

      3) The endurance includes bearing temptations and urges (1 Cor 10:12-13). With the aid of prevention and motivation from Christ, you must and can escape (1 Cor 10:12-13). God is faithful giving you the ability. You are still going to have some temptations and urges, but you are able to bear them.

      If you have any more question, just ask.

      God bless you. You have my prayer.


  3. martin says:

    Hello sir I am a student in a high school I have a girl friend I really love so much and wants to marry her in future is it right to continue with that dreams and ambishion?


    • Yes, brother. Stay pure. Wait til marriage. Do not be alone together (Rom 13:13-14).

      Do your best to support your future family, so increase your education (2 Thess 3:10, 1 Tim 5:8) .

      Also, obey and honor your parents (Eph 6:1ff). God bless.


      • martin says:

        Sir the word of God is really dwelling in u rechly. I wish I could always be with u all my life and u be my mentor

        Liked by 1 person

        • God bless you. Thank you for your compliment. You have a far greater mentor in Christ. In my adolescence, I did not have a constant mentor and I craved a father figure. Therefore, I learned to lean of Christ, His words, and His example. I urge you to do the same.


    • martin says:

      Thanks very much sir for ur consent to help and advice but let me tell u my real problem that I really need help.
      I am a member of the Apostolic church in cameroon and I live with my sister in the capital city called Yaoundé were I school. In my home town, I was so egger in the things of God. I studied the word of God every day and preached it every were like in school, hospitals etc and I was so inspaird because I had strong spiritual leaders and believes always around me. But when I came to this city to continue my education, the environment was so weak and I could not even preach to people because I could not speak their mean language which is french. Latter on, I start getting some immoral thoughts that was usuall before I gave my life completely to Christ . I tryed and tryed and even prayed and prayed but it got more stronger. I was just getting lost over Amy beautiful girl I see.
      The next year when I went to the next class, my teacher told me to be friend with one of my class made call Cynthia so that I could lean more more from her since she was the best in his supjet. And when clows to her, I found out she was a Christian and even a Sunday school teacher in their Babtist church. She helped me and thought me many things the I never knew. And i began to like her so much because I was always with her and she was very inspiring and different from all the other girls in my class and I prayed to God to give me a wife like her in future.
      Before long, all the lost and immoral thoughts I had for other girls stopped and I loved this girl so much and she accepted to be my girl friend. we made agreement not to do any immoral action till we get married and we even prayed to God for are relationship and I promised to respect her verginity . But I gut so afraid that she may live me and if I love her mor and more again it I may be badly heart if she does that. I made up my maine to grow in the word of God and to be more committed with the things of God and I felt its good to live her and the greatest broblem is that I can’t because its so difficult
      And due to that she change her attitude with me making me fill like she have some one els and that made me started having those immortal thoughts again and shortly before I saw ur reply I even invited her to my friends house which I almost sleept with her and I did not because she resisted that she can’t do that.
      I dont know what to do sir because right now I even get mor immoral thoughts even for her and I find it so difficult to live her because she is like a part of me and i see here every day and I can’t even cosentrat in school any more and many people in my family drop school because of early pregnancy and I don’t want that to happen to me. I am just 20years and she 19


      • Martin,

        You know your temptation. That is good. You have a girl who is spiritually strong. That is good. You have sexual desires that God gave you for marriage. That is good. Yet, you are frustrated by temptations that you do not want. Still, that is good. You pray. That is good. You suffer and bear your temptation. That is good. Read 1 Peter 2:21-25.

        You must bear these temptations (1 Cor 11:12-13). God is faithful that He will not allow you be tempted beyond what you are able to escape. Your desires are strong, but I know of no way to ease them or get rid of them except for you to marry. Your desires are made for marriage (1 Cor 7:1-9).

        Otherwise, talk to your brothers in Christ. Most of them will understand your temptations.

        God bless you to stay strong. Since you have learned much from the Baptist teaching, I urge you to seek out the churches of Christ in Cameroon. They can teach you more.


        • martin says:

          That is so inspiring sir and the verses points foreword to me. But sir I really love and wish to even get married in other to avoid all this just as the Bible says but am still too yong and still a student and am preparing to write an exam in about two months time to get into the university and in my country people don’t even get married at my age and students don’t even work and the same time go to school as in other countries. So I still have a long way to go and for now what should I do now to stop those thought s and grow in Christ Or wait for the future ? And wont i be berring a risk of loseing her at the end? And the worst is that this time in school I just feel like touching her or hold ing her hand which she always refuse and I get so distracted to study. And If I break up with her it may even be worst. I don’t know what to do now sir am suffering and thinking all day while my friends are reading and preparing for exams


  4. Bob Freiman says:

    Thank you, pastor. Right now I’m in a situation of being one on one with the Lord, seeking Him, trying to do away with sexual sin once and for all. I feel like I’m on the verge of change, but I still can’t get there. I’ll appreciate your prayers.


    • You have my prayer. Crucify the flesh. Make no provision for the flesh. God bless.


      • Steve says:

        “Make no provision for the flesh.” That may be the most succinct answer to this question I have heard. It seems that such deprivation is a question of theodicy. Why would God allow one to suffer so? For some it is a battle with the Enemy and he uses the weapons that are most likely to be effective to the individual. An appeal to greed or vanity would be other modern examples. It occurs to me that in making no provision for the flesh that a way is opened to transcend, in part, and in preview, our individual participation in being fallen. By this I suggest that if we do recenter ourselves into a spiritual immersion that we then, in a limited sense, will overcome the world, and conform a bit closer to the form of Christ. Suffering is often blessing, disguised, and strength is never borne from comfort.


  5. kobby says:

    Thanks for the post its very inspiring.I would be very glad if you could write a post on rapture.


  6. Gini says:

    I am divorced and bedn dating a christian men. We been together for few years. We both have kids and want to wait that they are older to ger married. We struggle a lot with sexual sin, right now thanks God we are very seriusly trying. He wants to serve at church and thats my desire too. I read that you mention that a divorced person can not get marry again, not sure I agree with that but could you please elaborate on this?
    Also please pray for us that the lord show us his will and help us to stay pure for him.
    Thanks and God bless!


    • Hi Gini,

      I will certainly pray for your purity in your relationship. It sounds like you trying to do the right thing. Like all unmarried people, sexual sin can come into a relationship, because we lack self-control. That lack of self-control is not necessary bad, because God intended that desire for marriage. Read 1 Corinthians 7:1-9 about this. Because of this lack of self-control, I urge you not to be alone together. Read Romans 13:13-14 and 1 Corinthians 10:12-13.

      I will double check and see if I communicate appropriately about divorce. I do find according to Jesus’ teaching that there is a time that one can divorce and remarry. I have other articles here posted on divorce that you can search.

      Let me just give you Scriptures and you decide. Consider 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 where I find that a separated spouse who is divorced not as Jesus commanded should remain unmarried or reconcile to one’s spouse. Consider also what God says about divorce in Malachi 2:14-16.

      Look at Matthew 5:32 and 19:9 where Jesus taught that divorcing and remarrying for any reason other than fornication is adultery and whoever marries the divorced is committing adultery. Fornication is sex outside of marriage. Simply, divorce and remarriage is adultery against the first spouse in this situation, because Jesus affirmed God’s institution of marriage is for life. Otherwise, what is the difference between cohabitation every number of years or divorcing and remarrying every number of years. The judgmental Pharisees would divorce and remarry for any reason and yet judge the unmarried couples as guilty of fornication. Jesus revealed that both were guilty and need to repent. See also Jesus’ teaching in Mark 10:11-12 and Luke 16:18.

      Fornication is the only exception that one may divorce and remarry without committing adultery according to Jesus in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9. We may think that there should be other reasons, but if we consider Christ’s words as flawless, sinless, and complete, then we cannot add to His words (Rev 22:18-19). Now, 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 implies that women can separate from her spouse for other reasons, but the Apostle wrote by Christ that she must remain unmarried or return to her husband. Either her husband will repent and get his life together or if he is corrupt he will cheat and fornicate, this releases his previous spouse to remarry. One more thing, Jesus said if one divorces his spouse and she remarries, then that man is guilty for helping cause her adultery and the one who marries her to commit adultery (Matt 5:32).

      If your situation is where your previous spouse divorced and remarried or cheated on you, then your spouse needs to repent, but you are free to remarry according to Jesus’ words. Repentance is necessary for forgiveness and salvation (Luke 13:3).

      Consider these Scriptures honestly. See what God wants for you to do — whether work on your previous marriage or find another spouse. Consider also the one you are dating. If you marry him and he is not divorced for fornication of his previous spouse, then he needs to work on reconciling his previous marriage.

      God bless. I hope you receive this well and see the glory of Jesus’ teaching.


  7. josephat Kim says:

    To be sincere l thank God for this massage for its a turning point in my life towards living a holy,righteous and victorious life in Jesus Christ.I feel wrought by the massege.God bless Scott.


  8. Simon says:

    Please pray for me. I cannot overcome sexual sins by myself even though I pray etc. It’s like a cycle in my life that’s been going on for years. I know I shouldn’t be having sex etc, an even preach the same things to others but I struggle with it myself. Please pray and intercede for me, and ask the Lord to destroy lust and sexual sins off my life and help me renew my mind and forgive me.


    • God bless you, Simon. You have my prayer. You are right. This is a cycle. When you tempted, escape the sin, realize that you must bear its desires, reject the sin with Scripture, and walk in the Spirit. May God bless you with strength and awareness to temptations. Consider Romans 13:13-14 and make no provision to sin.


  9. JESUS BA says:



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